


All I Ever Needed Was You

by CliffordAffliction



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Arizona - Freeform, Blowjobs, California, Calum and Ashton are the same age, Drinking, Falling In Love, Happy Ending, High School, I mean Michael and Luke dont die, M/M, Michael and Luke are the same age, Michael is kind of an asshole, Minor Character Death, Moving, Moving Away, Party, Smut, Summer, Summer break, Surfer!Michael, Top!Michael, bottom!Luke, but not to Luke, handjobs, i skip a year after the character death, im not that cruel, its not as depressing as it sounds, luke and ashton are brothers, not that much surfing but some, obviously, surfer!luke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-01 12:59:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 35,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5206814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CliffordAffliction/pseuds/CliffordAffliction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Is it a good change or a bad change?”<br/>“A good one” Luke spit out then he realized that could have sounded bad “I mean there was nothing wrong with how you were before but...this version of you is good too” A car drove past with bright headlights revealing Michael’s face better and his eyes looked a little glazed over but he was smiling. It was a proud looking smile but Luke had no idea what he could have done to make Michael proud of him.<br/>“There was a lot wrong with me Lukey” and Luke’s heart sunk. He wanted Michael to have that smile back on his face and he watched closely as Michael leaned his head against the window. Luke had never seen him look so small and it frightened him “I treated a lot of people badly..and for no reason. I was just an asshole”<br/>“You weren’t to me” Luke was just trying to say anything that would cheer him up again but it was true. Michael had never hurt him...except for when he left him. That was the harshest thing he had ever done to Luke.<br/>“I wasn’t always as good to you as I should have been”</p><p>or Michael moves away after being friends with Luke for years and when he comes back a year later they realize how much they really needed each other</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I'm uploading this again lmao but it's because I regretted the way I uploaded it all at once the last time and also because there were a bunch of errors through out it and I was too lazy to fix them all at once so i will fix them as I upload chapters one by one. 
> 
> and for people reading this for the first time I hope you enjoy it and of course its complete so I won't let it go unfinished

Ashton was laying on a lawn chair out by his pool at 3am when he realized this is literally what he had been doing all day. Just laying around the house being the most bored he thinks’ he's ever been and he finally couldn't stand it any longer. He jumped up and started making his way towards the house. The only thing that was lighting up the living room was the TV Luke was watching before he fell asleep on the couch.

"Luke.." Ashton had a grip on his arm and was shaking him softly "Wake up". Luke made a grumbling sound and turned his body so that his face was smooshed into the couch. Ashton started pulling him off the couch until he snapped into it

"Ashton stop" he whined then he sat up and rubbed his face

"Come on get up we're going down to the beach"

"Why? Why are we going to the beach when it’s dark out?" he said with a bit more anger this time

"It’s actually 10pm. You slept the whole day and I didn’t want to wake you up because you looked so peaceful"

"Shut up" Luke said with a laugh not far behind "and stop!" he pushed Ashton's hand away that was in his hair "Stop trying to fix my hair"

"You have couch hair" Ashton said in a motherly tone "Now go upstairs and get a jacket. It's chilly out".

"What time is it really?" Luke shouted down, now standing at the balcony with his hands on the railing

"Oh its 3am" Ashton said casually and briefly looking away from his phone. Luke let out a long and exaggerated sigh

"You're such an asshole"

"And hurry up! I just texted the boys to meet us there"

Calum practically jumped out of his skin when his phone went off and vibrated his whole bed. He quickly sat up then felt dizzy so he had to hold his head and relax for a second and his hands began to search all over his bed for the phone. He found it wedged under his other pillow and unlocked it to see the text:  
*Get your ass to the pier we need to talk* Calum scrunched his face in confusion and then became afraid that Ashton found out that he was the one who borrowed, without asking, his Green Day CD and then lost it. He rolled out of bed and threw on some jeans and a white shirt he got in Tijuana last summer and made his way to the front door.

Michael was lying in bed on a gaming streak with one hand in a bag of Cheetos when he rolled his eyes having to pause the game to see the text and decided to just call Ashton.

"Why aren’t.. You here?" Ashton said in a pissed off tone as soon as he answered the phone

"umm why the fuck are you calling me at 3am wanting me to go to the beach Ash?"

"Just get down here"

"I'm busy"

"You aren’t busy. 10 bucks says you’re just playing video games and drinking all your old man’s booze. Just come. It's important to me" and Michael could tell he was making his puppy face on the other end

"What’s in it for me?"

"I don’t know..I'll toss you off or something just get over here"

"No. Absolutely not. I don’t want your hand anywhere near my dick". Ashton did one of his obnoxious laughs

"Fine fine. I'll make you some pancakes tomorrow morning".

"You better make them chocolate chip" he hung up, chugged the rest of his beer and was out the door.

Ashton sat against one the columns under the boardwalk and Luke was lying on his back in the sand making a small sand castle and about falling asleep.

"I’m so sick of wasting my life waiting on them" Ashton said in a snotty tone. Luke scoffed.

"You woke them up in the middle of the night. Just be happy they're even coming at all". Ashton turned his head when he heard Michael and Calum laughing as they approached. Michael instantly went and laid down next to Luke, resting his head on Luke’s stomach and Danny sat down with his knees up next to Ashton.

"Alright if this is about your Green Day CD getting stolen it was Danny who took it and now he can’t find it" Michael blurted out

"You son of a bitch.." Calum said under his breath as Michael smiled at him.

"No that’s not-" Ashton turned his head and glared at Calum "well fuck you..That CD was signed by the whole band”

"I’ll find it Ash. Don’t worry about it"

"Well you fucking better or you’ll never see the light of day again". Michael and Luke were both covering their faces trying to contain their laughter

"What does that even mean?"

“You know damn well what it means” Ashton said pointing a finger at him

"Alright alright" Michael said still laughing "What’re we doing here?" Ashton shot Calum one more dirty look then looked off at the ocean.

"Well I was just thinking that we need to do something really like..life changing before we start school again-"

"We just started summer break yesterday" Calum said in a tired voice

“Like Michael and Luke you guys have 2 more years left. Me and Cal pal graduate next year. That’s crazy so we don’t have much time to do any stupid things that kids do"

"That’s what this was about?" Luke said "you having some sort of early life crisis so you made all of us come out here with you to plan something crazy for us to do?" Ashton shook it off, totally ignoring him.

"So I think we should go out to Vegas for a week or something" he focused on Luke "and you know we can stay with Bobby while were out there"

"I miss bobby" Luke said quietly imagining how every time they would hang out with their cousin bobby they’d always have the most fun they've ever had

"So anyways that’s what we're doing and we can leave this weekend. I already called Bobby last week and got it all planned out it will-"

"Ash" you could tell Michael was about to put the whole idea down " We're all under the age of 21..none of us are even 18 man. What the hell are we gonna do in Vegas?" Calum began digging into the sand and decided to stay out of it along with Luke

"Michael...we'll be hanging out with bobby" he said making his voice higher "Bobby always finds shit to do. I mean he’s got a big dirt bike track across the road-"

"Okay but what're Luke and Calum gonna do?"

"We'll have fun. We always do just- Luke you're with me right?" Luke flinched a little, about to fall asleep

"I'll go just to see Bobby"

"Damn right. Calum?"

"Only if you buy the beer"

"Fine. Whatever". They all looked at Michael as he looked over at the water not meeting any of their eyes

"Come on Mikey" Luke said shaking him and Michael couldn’t help but smile

"Okay okay I'll go to Vegas with you idiots". They all began to holler and clap their hands dramatically as they tackled Michael.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a lot happens in this chapter

Luke waited until the very day they were leaving to finally pack for Vegas and he was frantically looking all over his room for his phone that he swore he had in his hand only 5 minutes ago. Ashton had been talking about the Vegas trip ever since he first mentioned it under the pier that night and Luke was just as excited. It had been a year since the four of them went on a trip together and the last time didn’t go so well. They drove up state to go snowboarding and by the end of the trip Michael had a broken nose, Calum’s car had broken down twice and none of them had gotten any better at snowboarding. Luke was hoping this trip to Vegas would ago a lot more smoothly because he didn’t know if he could handle Ashton complaining about how big of a failure the trip was for months after.

"Fuck" Luke let out a breath getting aggravated that he still couldn’t find his damn phone

"Looking for this?" Michael said leaning against the doorway with a smirk. Luke let out a relieved breath and grabbed it from him. Michael made his way over to Luke’s bed, made himself comfortable sitting against the headboard and began putting his hand through his messy hair. "Oh Lucas" Luke tensed up a bit whenever Michael called him 'Lucas' and he was never sure why. Maybe because Michael was the only one who called him that. “Always waiting to do everything at the last minute. When will you ever learn?"

"I'm actually almost finished. Just can’t find my extra pair of swim shorts" he said as he dug through his drop drawer and Michael laughed quietly. Luke slowly turned around

"I couldn’t find my pair so I took your extra pair"

"Oh Michael...Always taking my shit and then never giving it back. When will you ever learn?"He said in the same tone as Michael did. Whenever Michael smiled it showed all over his face; from the lines in his cheeks to his squinted eyes and no matter what it always made Luke smile too. Michael began to lie down completely and got on his stomach with his arms under Luke’s pillow.

"I promise I'll give em’ back." he looked out the window decided to change the subject "I'm really gonna miss Ash after he graduates"

"What're you talking about? You’ll still see him all the time. It’s not like that bum will go to college right away...or even at all". Luke threw a few more things into his bag then decided that would probably be enough clothes for a week vacation. He made his way over to the bed and sat at the end of it with his knees up.

"He told me he was thinking about joining the god damn marines" Michael said smiling into the pillow. A laugh caught in Luke’s throat

"He wouldn’t last a week. He’s not meant to do anything but drum and besides he can barely jump rope without falling over”

"Sometimes I can’t believe you guys are brothers. He can’t even stand on a board and you can surf like a fucking champ" Luke’s cheeks turned a light pink from the compliment. Michael only ever gave compliments to himself because he was a cocky son of a bitch and everyone knew it.

"I'm not that good at surfing" he said still blushing.

"Oh shut up you know you are. A few more years and you'll be as good as I am" Luke rolled his eyes up to look at Michael looking very pleased with himself as usual. Luke never had much confidence but Michael had so much of it that it always rubbed off on him and made him feel on top of the world no matter what they were doing. Michael believed that he could have any girl he wanted and that was actually pretty true if Luke was honest but what was weird is that he never took advantage of it. Sure he had plenty of random hook ups with girls at parties but he'd never actually had a solid girlfriend. Michael had this glow about him at all times that made you happy to even be in his presence. Luke never felt like he had anything special so even after being friends with Michael for years sometimes he'd still wonder why Michael had stuck so close to him for so long but he of coarse was happy for it and never took a second of it for granted. Luke then got a confused look on his face.

"But won’t you miss Calum too?" Michael began rubbing his tongue on the inside of his cheek acting like he was thinking very hard on the question

"No" he said bluntly. Luke realized that he should have expected that. It’s not like Michael hated Calum. They just had very strong personalities and more often than not they would clash and it would end with Calum being all pouty and Michael ignoring him completely. Luke personally found it rather funny. Michael looked over at Luke’s bright green surfboard leaning against his closet door and decided to go back to that "We won’t get to surf for a whole week man"

"We won’t..." Luke said getting pretty bummed about it too. He then got an idea that he knew would piss Ashton off but it wouldn’t be the first time or the last " Do you wanna..." he gestured toward his surfboard and he could tell Michael had already agreed to it. They both made their way towards the water with their surfboards under their arms as the hot sand stung their feet but it was something they grew accustomed to by now and they almost liked the feeling. Luke shivered as the cold ocean water hit his feet and Michael splashed him wanting to make him colder than he already was. They got in a brief splashing fight until Michael dove into the water then swam back to get his board, he slicked back the wet strands of hair that was getting in his face and motioned Luke to join him. Luke jumped in and splashed Michael once more before getting on his board and they began paddling moving their arms in the same rhythm. The waves were relatively small compared to most days but a wave was a wave and they just knew they needed to surf at least once before being kept from it for a few days.

"Here she comes" Michael said as the wave approached. They both looked at each other and nodded. Michael stood up first and Luke knew he was late on it so he quickly used his hands to push himself up on his feet almost losing his balance. He found a comfortable spot on the board right when the wave started to take him and he looked over at Michael as they were both riding out the rest of the wave and he gave Luke a thumbs up making Luke actually lose his balance this time but he kept his feet planted and dove into the water once the wave passed. Michael was laughing and drumming his hands on his surf board. "I think that compliment I gave you earlier got to your head and made you fuck up!" Michael shouted over to Luke who only had his head barely out of the water "Luke that was pitiful". Luke went under water and began to swim towards him. It wasn’t a huge deal or anything but he couldn’t help but feel a bit upset with himself for doing so poorly and it didn’t help that Michael pointed it out.

"I had sand in my eyes" He said popping out of the water and coping Michael by having his arms overlapping each other on his board.

"Sand in my eyes" Michael mocked him still very entertained by the whole thing. He only quit laughing when he seen how discouraged Luke looked "Alright alright you did fine Luke. You'll get it next time don’t worry about it" Luke laid his head down on arms and faced the out into the ocean still trying to catch his breath as a slight breeze picked up and he tarted to think of how impatient Ash was probably getting since he wanted to leave an hour ago but Luke told him he had to finish packing.

"We should head back. Ashton is probably losing it by now". Michael let out a breath and nodded. They started paddling towards shore and Luke kept looking over at Michael seeing that he clearly wasn’t too excited about this trip. "Michael I'm getting the feeling that you don’t really want to go to Vegas" Luke said it in a more concerned tone than an upset one. He just wanted Michael to enjoy it as much as everyone else did.

"Yeah" Michael said shrugging "I really don’t if I'm honest" Luke would have asked why but he could tell Michael wasn’t done talking "It’s just that summer just started. I wanted to chill out here and be lazy. Plus I know how stressful our trips can be" he began remembering the nightmare of the upstate snowboarding trip. They both stood up reaching the shore now and grabbed their boards. As much as Luke wanted Michael to go he still didn’t want to make him do something he clearly had no interest in.

"You know I don’t care what Ashton says..you don’t have to go if you don’t want to" Michael laughed like it was the dumbest thing he’s ever heard

"Are you kidding? What the hell would I do for a week without you guys? Don’t be stupid. I’m going" Luke smiled down at the ground feeling a lot better knowing that even though Michael wasn’t too syked about it he still wanted to go. When they started walking up the driveway Ashton was loading things into the back of his jeep and instantly glared at Luke and Michael when he noticed them.

"Where the fuck have you guys been? We should have been on the road hours ago" he was dramatically crossing his arms and wearing a white Santa Carla shirt with the sleeves cut off.

"Oh pipe down" Michael said swatting him on the arm "We're here now aren’t we?"

"I wanted to beat the 5 o clock traffic but thanks to you hooligans it will take even longer to drive there now go upstairs and get changed. Your bags are already in the car"

"Yes mother" Luke said mocking him. Michael on the other hand couldn’t stand being bossed around

"If you don’t fix that attitude Ash then this trip will end with you getting your ass kicked" Michael was slightly kidding but Ashton still gritted his teeth and stayed silent. When Luke and Michael came back outside they were both wearing hoodies because the temperature had lowered to about 70 degrees with the wind still blowing. Calum’s car was also in the driveway.

"We decided to take 2 cars because I know you two" Ashton pointed at Michael and Luke "Will want to come home before Calum and me. So Michael come with me and Luke go with Calum then Luke can drive home Calum’s car when you guys want to come back home". Luke felt a little uneasy and wasn’t sure why. He just knew he would rather be with Michael or his brother. If he was honest Calum’s driving sort of scared him.

"But why can’t I just drive Calum’s car there and Michael can ride with me?"

"Just let Calum drive his car there. I think you and Michael can last a few hours apart"

"No that’s not what I-" Luke started violently shaking his head

"Alright let’s head out!" Calum said opening his door. Luke quickly glanced at Michael then got in the passenger side of Calum’s car

*

“Do you know? Do you know?” Calum sang as he kept pointing at Luke

“No” Luke said dully as he looked out his window

“Do you know what it feels like loving someone who’s in a rush to throw you away?” Luke put his hands on his ears and cringed. Calum always listened to the worst music and Luke realized this was another reason he didn’t want to ride in the car with him.

“Keep your eyes on the road Calum” Luke said as he turned the music all the way down and removed his sunglasses to rub his eyes. He was already growing tired of being in the car and just wanted to get there already.

“Why you being so pissy?” Calum said still being hyper

“How much longer do we have until we get there?” Calum began to look down at his phone and Luke took the wheel for a second.

“About another half hour. Come on Lukey enjoy the scenery” Luke glared at Calum through his sunglasses then looked at what was ahead of him.

“All we’ve been staring at is desert. This scenery sucks”

“Hey” Calum said teasingly pointing a finger at him “Nobody forced you to come and if you keep up with the attitude this desert is going to become your new home”

Calum expected Bobby to live in some rich house right in the middle of all the action of Vegas but in reality he lived on the outskirts of it in a 2 story house with a dirty in ground pool in the back yard. The only other buildings close to it were a gas station and a rundown Mexican restaurant across the street. Luke could have sworn that the area seemed livelier the last time they came to visit although that was over 5 years ago and Luke wasn’t even the same person anymore.

“You know where this place is right?” Calum said nervously looking in all directions

“Yeah yeah it’s right after the Mountain Springs sign. First house on the right”

“And where the hell is your brother? They said they were stopping at a gas station and that they would be right behind us” Luke took out his phone again then let out a breath

“I don’t know he’s not answering my texts” and Luke looked up to see Bobby’s house up ahead “Slow down its this next one” There were 3 dogs running up to their car as they pulled in and random pool toys flung all across the yard. Either Luke completely forgot what it looked like or Bobby’s house had changed because he didn’t remember it looking like this. The last time he was here it was a lot more up kept. They both hurried up and got out so the dogs would stop jumping on the car and scratching it and Calum leaned down to pet them all as Luke looked up at the house then began walking up to the front door.

“Does he know we’re coming?” Calum said with a laugh as he caught up to Luke

“Ash called him” and suddenly Calum was stepping in front of Luke right as they were on the front step

“Luke why are you being so short and on edge with me?” Luke looked away for a second. He didn’t even really know why he was being so irritable but he didn’t want Calum to think it was because of him.

“I’m just tired. It was a long car ride” Once Calum seemed content with that answer Luke softly pushed passed him and opened the door. Instantly they were greeted with the smell of weed and some kind of greasy food and there were clothes everywhere. Luke didn’t even know if he owned even half as much as clothes as he was seeing “Bobby?” Luke continued to look around and they both froze when they seen some movement in the kitchen but it turned out to just be another dog.

“Jesus Christ is he running a fucking dog kennel?” Luke shrugged then looked ahead to see a flight of stairs leaning down to the basement. He all of a sudden remembered that Bobby’s room was in the basement there and that he pretty much just lived down there.

“C’mere” Luke walked ahead and pulled Calum’s shirt. They slowly made their way down the sketchy stair case and the air was a lot more damp and soon they were able to see the gray carpet. Luke stopped after the last step as he seen Bobby sitting in a bean bag chair on the floor with 3 TV’s on in front of him. One of them was a surfing competition, one was a motocross race and the other was an episode of Catdog. Bobby’s back was to them so Luke looked over at Calum who looked utterly confused and Luke couldn’t help but laugh but Bobby still didn’t move an inch as he stuffed chips into his mouth and took sips of his grape soda. Luke was the first one to start walking towards him and he shook Bobby’s shoulders then Bobby tipped his head back looking at them upside down.

“Woah! Luke my man!” Bobby said getting to his feet and spilling the bag of chips everywhere. Luke hugged him back and Bobby’s long blonde hair stuck to his face a bit “How ya been? I’ve been expecting you” he said in a proper tone that made Calum scoff and Luke turned around and gestured to him.

“Oh this is Calum” Bobby stepped closer and Calum reached out to shake his hand but instead he pulled Calum into a hug.

“Damn you smell really good!” Bobby said letting him go and Calum widened his eyes at Luke in a slightly creeped out way once Bobby’s back was turned to him “So where is Ashy boo?” Bobby pulled two other bean bags out of the closet behind the TVs and motioned for them to sit down. Luke took the one closest to Bobby and tried to pick up the chips the best he could.

“He should be here any minute. Last time I talked to him he was stopping off at some gas station”

“Kick ass” Bobby said dragging it out and opening the giant cooler he was resting his feet on “Here. You guys can have anything you want..I’ve got literally everything you would want to drink so please indulge yourselves..oh and Luke don’t worry about those chips bro the dogs will eat them right up”

“Speaking of dogs” Calum began in a smart ass tone “You sure do have umm..a shit load of them” and of course Bobby didn’t seem to be affected by Calum’s tone as he continued just a smiling away.

“Oh yeah I rescued them all from the kennel. They were supposed to be euthanized” Calum took a double look at one of them that had 3 legs then leaned in closer to Luke

“I can see why” Luke elbowed him and continued to be confused about the three TV’s in front of him but decided not to say anything as Bobby kept shifting his eyes from one to the other. Luke really noticed a difference in Bobby. He seemed a lot more happy and jittery at the same time and Luke couldn’t help but think that he was doing something more than just smoking weed. Luke watched him carefully as he took a drag from his cigarette and did a breathy laugh at something on TV almost as if he forgot him and Calum were even there. Soon enough Ashton was running down the stairs yelling. 

“Bobby!” in a high pitched voice and jumping on him making him fall off the bean bag. Luke looked back to see Michael nowhere in sight and he looked to Ashton for an answer but he was still too busy giving Bobby attention. Luke didn’t even know how long he stared at the stairs waiting for Michael to come down but finally he did holding a puppy with both arms and Luke shot up and walked over to him. Michael gave Luke a quick smile then looked back down at the puppy.

“This dude has so many dogs I could take one home with me and he probably wouldn’t even notice” Luke did have to agree that the dog was really cute and he reached out to pet him.

“Let me hold him” Luke whined a bit hoping it would help in persuading Michael since he seemed to be very attached to him.

“No way. Get your own” Michael purposely bumped into him then sat down on the couch that was sitting away from everything else and right next to Bobby’s room. Luke rolled his eyes a bit as he watched him toss a ball for the puppy.

“What took you guys so long anyways?” Luke said slouching down next to him and feeling very tired.

“You’re brother drives like a fucking old woman and I swear he had to stop to piss every 5 minutes” Michael focused on Luke and put his serious face on “I’m not riding with him on the way back, Luke”

“You won’t have to” He chuckled and let Michael grab his soda. Luke looked up to see Bobby and Ashton giggling and he could tell how much Ashton missed him. To anyone else Bobby seemed a bit strange and hyper but to Ashton he was just a complete joy to be around and they actually were a lot alike with their happy go lucky attitudes. Calum was just staring at the middle TV feeling a little left out as Bobby and Ashton began wrestling and trying to suffocate each other with the bean bags. Even though they weren’t doing much Luke felt like he would be okay with just doing this the whole time they were here. Just goofing around and maybe going for a swim when they got too hot. He was just about to tell Michael what he was thinking when Bobby jumped up and did a high pitched screaming making all of them jump.

“WHOS READY TO PAR-TAY” Michael raised his eyebrows a bit at Bobby’s energy and Luke couldn’t help but be a bit discouraged. There went his hopes of just relaxing. It wasn’t that he hated parties it was just that he always felt a little out of place since he wasn’t a big drinker like the others were. This would be an interesting night. 


	3. Chapter 3

Before Luke knew it the whole house was being flooded by people and he was slouching down in some arm chair in the corner of the living room. Of course he wasn’t trapped but it sure felt like with how many people were standing in front of him. Not to mention that it had been easily over 3 hours since he seen Michael and probably an hour since he’d seen Calum or Ashton so it almost felt as if he was at this party all by himself with a bunch of strangers. The music was so loud that he didn’t even bother with trying to call any of them since they wouldn’t hear it and even sending a text was pointless because they were obviously having too much fun to check up on Luke or even look for him so of course they wouldn’t be checking their phones either. Luke actually started to get a little upset that none of them were even acknowledging him and he sure hoped they were at least having fun since he wasn’t. Finally Luke stood up not being able to take the noise any longer after some kid did a full on scream and nearly made him shit his pants. He began to push through the people not even caring if he was seemed rude or not and he made it to the kitchen alive but also seen the 3 other boys nowhere in sight. He didn’t really care about seeing Bobby because there wasn’t much comfort he could offer Luke since he was almost positive that Bobby was so drunk that he didn’t even know where he was. If anything Bobby would just annoy Luke even more. After taking another glance around the kitchen he went downstairs and made it down there fairly quickly and his eyes instantly shot to Calum who was sitting on the pool table laughing with 3 other girls and Luke didn’t want to be a cockblock. He really didn’t but all he needed to do was ask if Calum knew where Michael was then he would be on his way.

“Aye Lukey boy! Where the hell you been?” Calum kept closing his eyes and smiling and Luke could tell he was a bit more than buzzed.

“Upstairs. Have you seen Michael?” Luke noticed that the 3 girls began to look around as if they were trying to look for Michael and Luke wondered how they even knew him. Michael was always a popular guy at parties but it bothered Luke for some reason that girls already knew who he was. Suddenly one of them stepped closer to Luke as if she wanted to say something.

“I seen him about an hour ago” Luke flinched a bit at the liquor smell on her breath and backed away a step “He was with Andrea..you know Andrea right?” Luke gave her a quick glare then looked at Calum as if to say “Is this girl for real?” Luke guessed that she just assumed he was from here but her overall tone was annoying to him.

“No I actually don’t. I’m not from around here”

“Oh she’s quite the character. Last summer she got sent to rehab for like....some really bad drug and I also heard she got pregnant but she like you know..” The girl was looking at Luke thinking he did but he just widened his eyes and shook his head “Oh sorry you’re not from here. I just forgot again but anyways she got an abortion and you know just killed the baby. It was so sad” Luke realized right then that he had never been less interested in a conversation in his whole life. He in no way cared about all this drama she was feeding him and again he was just as annoyed as when he was upstairs. He gave the girl one more weird look then focused on Calum who was laughing at him

“Just..if you see Michael have him text me alright?”

“Will do bud” he said before downing another beer then acting as if Luke wasn’t there as he chatted with the girls. Since there was nowhere to go but up Luke decided to check out the very top floor. There were only bedrooms and a bathroom up there and it was completely silent until he heard a few giggles coming up the stairs behind him, one in which he recognized.

“Luke you okay? What’re you doing up here by yourself?” Ashton seemed almost completely sober which gave Luke some comfort and he just rubbed his neck and looked down hoping at least Ashton would hang out with him.

“Oh umm I’m just looking for Michael” the 2 guys behind Ashton started to look restless and patted Ashton on the shoulder mumbling something about them going downstairs. Ashton made a face like he was thinking as he looked to his right.

“I haven’t seen him in at least a couple of hours. You know Michael though...He will probably be so wasted that you wouldn’t be able to keep a conversation going with him anyways” Luke had to agree with that but he still really wanted to see him and Luke suddenly realized he was being very clingy and didn’t know why. He was a big boy and he should be able to survive at a party without Michael but then it hit him that maybe he couldn’t. Michael was always the one getting Luke drinks and showing him where the bathroom was and they were all things that Luke could clearly do on his own but he liked that Michael helped him with these things. This was why Luke had been so miserable all night and this sudden discovery scared him for some reason. Was he really this dependant on Michael? “Luke?” he could tell by the tone of Ashton’s voice that he had said Luke’s name several times before but he also seemed very concerned.

“hmm?”

“Listen I’m gonna go look for Michael then I’ll come back up here okay?” he quickly looked around Luke “You can go in Bobby’s parents room if you want...watch a movie or something” Luke nodded and that actually sounded quite nice. He just knew he couldn’t go back downstairs. Ashton gave him a quick smile then headed down the stairs. Bobby’s parent’s room was surprisingly clean and it was obvious that they had been gone for a while because everything looked pretty untouched. That was about to change cause Luke jumped on the bed and got under the covers switching the TV on. He settled on watching South Park knowing that it would cheer him up and he started to close his eyes not realizing how tired he was until he was laying in this comfy bed.

He was awoken by Ashton opening the door but he could tell he hadn’t been sleeping very long because he felt really confused and out of it.

“Sorry Luke. Didn’t meant to wake you” Ashton said sitting on the edge of the bed. Luke rolled on his side and put his arms under the covers

“It’s okay. Did you find him?” Ashton instantly shook his head and put his hands through his hair

“And nobody has seen him either” Luke began to get a worried feeling in his stomach and he swallowed hard

“He’s fine Luke. Do you want me to stay up here with you?” Of course Luke wanted someone to keep him company but he didn’t want to ruin Ashton’s fun just because his little brother was being a wimp and always needed someone around

“No that’s alright..Go have fun Ash” Ashton grinned a bit then started tucking the blankets around Luke like he did when they were kids

“Snug as a bug in a rug” and Luke started laughing uncontrollably

“Ashton stop stalling I’ll be fine...really. I’ll just chill up here”

“If you say so” Then Ashton was looking out into the distance with a confused face “Why do you wanna see Michael so bad anyways? Do you gotta ask him something?” Luke didn’t know why he began to panic but he really had no idea how to answer this question because he didn’t have a reason for wanting to see Michael. He just wanted him around and it was as simple as that.

“um I don’t know I’m just used to having him around I guess” and that seemed like a good enough answer for Ashton

“Alright well I’ll keep looking for him then send him up..hopefully he won’t get lost on the way up here” Luke did a tired smile and Ashton patted him on the shoulder “I’m sure I’ll see you again tonight”  
It seemed like hours that Luke just channel surfed as he cuddled under the blankets wondering if he really was going to see Ashton or Michael for the rest of the night. With the way things were going he highly doubted it but it still didn’t stop him from checking his phone every 5 minutes and he couldn’t figure out if he was doing it out of boredom or if it was just because he wanted to see a text from Ashton saying something like “Michael said he would be up soon”. Even a text from any three of them asking how he was would of been great but Luke had to tell himself that it was a party and he knew they had better things to do than text him. Also he knew how easy it was to lose track of time with all the action going on. Suddenly he began to hear someone coming up the stairs. He could tell it was a guys voice and girls voice but it was hard to hear over the TV so he quickly turned it down and he tensed up a bit when the knob of the door began to twist and the door wasn’t even locked so he didn’t know why the person was having so much trouble with opening it. The girl began to giggle a bit and then there was kissing noises and Luke rolled his eyes. The last thing he needed was having 2 drunk people trying to kick him out of the room so they could have sex but he wasn’t going to budge. He was comfy and this place had become his little safe haven so they could just go somewhere else. Finally the door flew open which resulted in them both laughing and Luke recognized the guys laugh and it wasn’t long until they both stumbled into the room. The only light in the room was the TV and now the hallway light was shining right in Luke’s eyes but he already knew who was standing at the door so he did a little wave and Michael was still just staring at him and having to lean against the doorway to keep himself up. His eyes were blood shot and Luke doesn’t think he’d ever seen him look this wrecked. The girl kept pulling on him saying “Let’s go to another room” but Michael continued to keep his focus on Luke and it was freaking him out at how Michael wasn’t saying anything

“You alright?” Luke said with a slight laugh and instantly Michael’s whole face turned into a smile, scrunching his eyes and everything

“Oh it’s you!” then he looked back to the girl “This is my friend Luke...my best friend” but the girl still had this angry look on her face

“Michael lets go somewhere else then” Luke just glared at her, not liking the way she kept pulling on his arm trying to get him to leave and then Michael pulled away from her grip and started walking in the bedroom looking at the floor making sure not to trip over anything

“You can go find some other guys dick to blow” he shouted to her over his shoulder and Luke was a bit shocked he said that “It should be easy since you’re such a whore right?” and again Luke was wincing at Michael’s sharp words, even though they weren’t directed at him they were still offensive enough to make him cringe.

“You’re such a fucking asshole” she mumbled before slamming the door and Michael just smiled before going over to the other side of the bed and laying on his stomach, burying his face in the pillow. Luke eyed him just expecting he would pass out but then he was shuffling under the blankets so that he was on his elbows lying on his side facing Luke. Luke knew that he wouldn’t be able to keep a casual conversation up with him very long but he figured he would try

“Where were you all night man?”

“Just..just around”

“Were you outside or something?” and Michael nodded while closing his eyes

“The real question is where were you?” he said pointing a finger an inch away from Luke’s nose

“In the house...looking for you”

“Why’d you miss me?” and Luke just decided to be completely honest since Michael was so out of it and he nodded. He was startled a bit when Michael reached up and began putting his fingers in the front of Luke’s hair “Your hair looks sexy pushed back” and then they were both rolling with laughter

“Really? Mean Girls Michael?” Luke giggled “Do you use that line on all the girls?”

“No just you” Luke froze under Michael’s gaze. There was something about the way Michael was looking at him that was giving him chills but then the door was swinging open, making them both jump

“Woah am I interrupting something here?” Calum snickered and it made Luke kind of want to punch him. Ashton came in soon after, his eyes going directly to Michael.

“Look who finally decided to show up” Ashton said crossing his arms and standing against the wall. Michael took a double look at Luke realizing how close they were then shifted and laid on his back

“The fuck do you guys want?” that was the thing with Michael. When he was drunk he was either really funny or a total asshole. There was no in between and he would switch between them without warning.

“Well I was just coming up here to check on my brother since you didn’t seem to give a shit about him all night” Luke glued his eyes to Ashton trying to figure out what made him all of a sudden snap. It took a lot to make him angry and something as little as Michael having his typical attitude with him didn’t seem like something that would set him off.

“Well would you look at here...he’s alive isn’t he? He’s not 5 years old Ashton. He doesn’t need a fucking babysitter” Michael seemed to of sobered up a lot but Luke missed the drunk version of him

“If anyone needs a babysitter it’s you Michael considering that you can’t go 5 minutes at a party without fucking some girl” and it made Luke even more nervous when Michael got a smirk on his face

“Is that what this is about? You’re mad because I get more ass than you? Oh or are you still pissed about me screwing your homecoming date Ash?” that was the last straw for Ashton and Calum knew it too by the way he was squinting and looking like he was in pain while he looked at the carpet. Ashton’s face went soft when he looked at Luke as if wanting him to say something but Luke felt speechless. Of course he hated that Michael was talking this way to his brother but there wasn’t much he could say now so he quickly avoided eye contact with Ashton

“You know Luke..” Luke eyes shot back over to Ashton confused on why he was all of a sudden involved in the conversation “Maybe you should get some new friends. Maybe one that’s not a total piece of shit? Think about it” Luke knew the sharpness was directed at Michael but he still felt hurt by the words. Ashton moved his eyes over to Michael in a fast motion then turned around to leave

“Fuck you!” Michael shouted once Ashton was in the hall and Calum was still just awkwardly hovering there not knowing where to go but he finally settled on going with Ashton right after he gave Luke a sympathetic smile. The anger for Michael didn’t strike Luke until everyone else had left but it hit him like a truck and he hated that Michael was acting so casual about this. He kept just laughing at the TV with his arm resting above his head just relaxing like nothing had even happened. Luke hoped it was the alcohol making him so calm about the whole thing. Luke grabbed the remote shutting the TV off and rolled on his side facing away from Michael and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding “Hey I was watching that” he said it in a kid like tone and Luke almost laughed but then realized he was still mad at him

“Go to bed” Luke felt the bed move and could tell Michael was facing him with his face inches away from the back of his head

“Why are you pissed at me?”

“You didn’t have to bring up the homecoming thing...you know you didn’t have to bring that up Michael” quite honestly that wasn’t the main thing Luke was mad at him for. He was more mad at the mere fact that Michael would talk that way to his own best friends brother. It didn’t make sense to Luke that he would do that. Drunk or not it wasn’t right.

“Well I don’t know if you remember right but he came in here and had an attitude with me first. What am I supposed to just sit there and take it?” There was more heat to his voice now and Luke just wanted to stop talking about it. Not wanting to get Michael all riled up again

“Just forget it” Luke mumbled into the pillow and taking some of the blanket from Michael. Luke could still feel Michael’s eyes above him for what seemed like hours then he finally laid back down filling the room with silence.

*

  
The next morning Luke was brought out of his sleep by a loud high pitched scream and he just knew it belonged to Bobby. He grabbed his phone seeing that it was only 10am but since he awake and chances are they would be making more noise down there he just decided to get up. Michael was still fast asleep of course with the sun shining on his bare back and the covers stopping at his waist. After Luke got out of the shower he made his way down the stairs and the house was still a complete mess with cups and random clothing all over the place. He jut followed the smell of breakfast food into the kitchen where Bobby was digging in the fridge and Calum was eating cereal and bacon. Neither of them noticed Luke standing there but he just sat grabbed a bowl and began pouring himself some cereal.

“Morning Luke” Bobby boomed, of course already being energized. Luke just gave him a tired nod when he turned around to sit next to Calum “What’s up with you two? You have some falling out or something?”

“Not us two” Calum mumbled and Luke let out a breath hoping he wouldn’t have to talk about it “Ash and Michael got into it a bit last night. Nothing new though...Michael starts shit with everyone” Luke flexed his jaw a bit because yeah Michael was out of line last night but he didn’t snap like that very often.

“He was fucking drunk Calum” the sudden outburst had Bobby and Calum both whipping their heads to look at him.

“Wow Luke...I can’t believe you’re defending him”

“I’m just saying that he was drunk and that he’s easily set off when he’s drinking”

“So you’re talking Michael’s side over your own brother. That’s pretty low Luke” Luke dropped his spoon in his bowl and stood up

“I’m not taking anyone’s side can you just drop it? Jesus Christ” after getting rid of his bowl he quickly made his way to the living room but ended up bumping into Michael in the doorway. Michael just made brief eye contact with him, lightly slapped his shoulder twice then walked around him

“Where’s the god damn pancakes at?” Michael ended with a yawn and Luke’s lips shifted up a little then he continued walking. He pushed a bunch of random junk off the couch so he could lie down on his back then shifted his attention to the already on TV that was playing Almost Famous. He kept hearing cluttering of pans that he expected to be Michael making himself pancakes then 10 minutes later he was moving Luke’s feet off the couch, sitting down then putting Luke’s legs on his lap knowing it would be uncomfortable with them sitting off the couch “There’s more pancakes in the kitchen” he said quietly with his mouth full and his eyes glued to the TV. Luke was still just looking at him and he didn’t know why he couldn’t look away

“I’m too tired to get up. Give me a few bites of yours” He said it with a giggle so that it seemed like he was joking but he really wasn’t. He knew Michael was crazy about pancakes and didn’t share them with anyone once they were on his plate. Michael raised his eyebrows at Luke while Luke was pouting his lips out and Michael smiled for the first time all morning and handed him the plate.

“Three bites” he said holding up his fingers “That’s all you get Luke”. Luke grinned and sat up against the back of the couch taking medium size bites of it and it was delicious just like they always were. Michael couldn’t cook much else but he sure knew how to make a kick ass pancake that was for certain. They just sat there watching TV staying quiet for the most part and occasionally making a comment about the movie and laughing but Luke never brought up the Ashton thing from last night but he did start to wonder where Ashton even was as more time went on.

*

After waking up from a nap and seeing Michael now facing Luke laying down he sat up and went outside by the pool where it was still just Calum and Bobby swimming with Ashton nowhere in sight

“Hey” they still continued to swim around and splash each other “Hey! Where’s Ash?” they both stopped being idiots and Bobby went under water leaving Calum to respond

“He went into town...that’s all he said when he left”

“Well what time did he leave?”

“About umm” Calum looked to Bobby “It was about 9 wasn’t it? Yeah it was 9”

“9? And it’s almost 1 now and no one has heard from him?”

“Chill out I’m sure he’s fine ” Luke just shook his head and marched back into the house sitting on the counter and dialing Ashton’s number. On the 4th ring he picked up

“Yeah?”

“Bro where are you?” Even over the phone Luke could tell Ashton was still feeling down

“Just driving around..checking out everything” He took a deep breath and released it “I just feel shitty about last night. I was being a prick to Michael. I shouldn’t have pushed him like that when he was drunk. That was dumb of me” and Luke was beside himself. Of course Ashton would assume that this was his fault when clearly it wasn’t. He was always putting the blame on himself

“No..No Ash. Listen” Luke took a look around to make sure Michael was still on the couch sleeping “Michael shouldn’t of said the things he said and I’m gonna talk to him about it. I am” and Ashton did a small laugh

“You’re a good kid Luke. I’ll be back soon alright?” Luke nodded even though they were on the phone “Love ya man”

“Love ya too” and then Luke was going back into the living room. Michael’s eyes were wide open as he stared at the ceiling and Luke’s heart skipped a few beats

“Did you uh...hear all that?” and Michael nodded finally looking at him with a sad face. Luke was happy he wasn’t angry but he didn’t like him being sad either “I just think you should apologize to him when he gets back. You were drunk and I know how you can be but it still wasn’t right to go off on him like that Mikey”

“I know” He said sitting up and closing his eyes “I’ll apologize” He moved his eyes to look at Luke with his head still down and once again Luke got that strange feeling in his stomach.

“Alright.umm thanks” He shook off whatever feeling that was then sat down

“But after he gets back can we leave?”

“What?”

“Yeah like go back home. I’m kind of over all this” Luke had to admit that he wasn’t having as much fun as he thought he would and being able to be in his own bed sounded really nice. Not to mention that he already missed surfing and just the beach in general

“Yeah..Yeah we can. Last night was pretty lame” Then Luke had a sudden thought “Do you remember anything from last night? You know like after you came into the room” Michael bit his lip and blinked a few times

“I only remember when Ashton and Calum came in. I remember all that but other than that no” Luke thought back to when Michael started to put his fingers in his hair then pulled a mean girls reference on him and he couldn’t help but laugh “What?” Michael playfully bumped into Luke’s shoulder

“You told me my hair looked sexy pushed back..last night” Michael scoffed then began changing the channels

“I did not Luke. Quit making shit up”

“You did!” and Luke didn’t know why but now he really couldn’t stop laughing which caused Michael to smile “You also asked me if I would give you a blowjob. That was really weird” Luke said in a way too chill voice and that got Michael’s full attention as he just stared at Luke for what felt like forever

“You did it though right?” Michael’s serious look was now gone but he wasn’t smiling

“Oh of course”

“Good boy” Michael patted him on the leg and Luke laughed but inside he couldn’t believe he just had a casual conversation about sucking Michael’s dick.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this chapter is very sad so if you don't want to read it I understand (not everyone is an angst whore like me lmao and I get it) . The next chapter after this is very happy though and if you want me to upload that one today too I will <3

When they go the call from the hospital at 3:33 pm Luke didn’t feel like he actually existed. It felt as if he was watching himself from somewhere else and nothing seemed real. He hadn’t even realized he had sat down until Calum came over to him while he was sitting in the corner of the kitchen and bent down in front of him. His lips were moving but Luke couldn’t make out the words but he did see the tears on Calum’s face and felt Calum reaching out to wipe away the tears on his own face. He instantly closed his eyes melting into the touch just needing some kind of contact and Calum pulled him into a hug then sat next to him with one arm around Luke and his face buried in his neck; like he needed the comfort just as bad as Luke did. The last thing he remembered seeing while he was still at Bobby’s house was Michael on the couch with his face in his hands and he wanted to go over there so bad to comfort him but he didn’t know how to move.

*

Back at his home in California it was the day of the funeral and Luke sat up in Ashton’s room in his tux and kept closing his eyes trying to imagine Ashton in front of him and replaying the last words he ever said to him. “You’re a good kid Luke. I’ll be back soon alright? Love ya man” was all he had to hold dear to him and the only face he could picture was the face Ashton was giving him after Michael had practically tore his heart out upstairs in Bobby’s parent’s bedroom. He should have said something. He should of stuck up for his brother but he didn’t. Instead he just sat there while lying next to Michael. He knew it was something he would feel bad about for the rest of his life and he began to feel even more awful at realizing how shitty that last night he spent with Ashton really was. Ashton spent a bunch of time looking for Michael for Luke only to be completely put down by him and then to have his brother not even say anything or step forward. Calum had been trying to be there for Luke the best he could, staying at his house and always texting him and calling him and Luke really appreciated that. On the other hand Michael hadn’t said a single word to Luke the entire time they had been home. Even in the car when they were driving back to California he had only asked Luke if he wanted anything from the gas station but hadn’t said anything to him since. The only time Michael looked at Luke was when he wasn’t looking and when Luke caught him a few times Michael would shake his head and act as if he was mad at Luke. It confused Luke more than anything and if he had any strength left in him he would say something but instead he just hoped the whole thing would pass over as time went on. It had to.

Luke didn’t want to go to the funeral. He really didn’t but he knew he would feel bad later if he didn’t. He just didn’t want to deal with all his family members trying to comfort him. For some reason the only person he wanted comfort from was Michael and maybe it was because he had been the only person who hadn’t offered any to him but most of all he didn’t want anyone’s sympathy; didn’t want to see their crying faces looking over at him thinking that they knew how he felt and would tell him “Things would get better” or “I know your pain” he hated both of those phrases. At this point he felt like things would never get better without his brother and no one knew his pain. He was certain of that. No one knew how shitty he felt during that last time he seen Ashton. No one knew how much he wished he could have talked on the phone longer with him. No one knew how much he hated that drunk driver. No one knew any of it and he wanted to keep it that way.

“Luke?” Calum was looking for him out in the hallway then he stopped and slowly came to sit next to Luke on the bed “You about ready bud?”

“Yeah I just...” and Calum wrapped and arm around him and ruffled his hair.

“I know” that was another thing with Calum: Luke didn’t have to explain himself to him and he was so grateful for it. Calum just understood and was there for Luke when he needed him but also wasn’t too clingy although Luke kind of wanted clingy. “Stand up for a second” Luke did as he was told and Calum began to straighten his tie, sticking his tongue out of his mouth in concentration “There”

“Yeah I couldn’t really do it”

“You did fine. I had to have my mom do mine but once you do it you never forget how”. Luke put his head down and squinted his eyes shut not wanting to cry. He hadn’t cried yet in front of anyone since they’d been back and he didn’t plan on it. 

“Calum umm thanks..for everything and thanks for being there for me especially since Michael hasn’t been” Luke could see Calum wince at the last thing he said and he brought him into a hug. 

“People handle things in different ways and I think Michael just feels particularly bad because of how he treated Ashton that night. As for how he is treating you I think its total bullshit and I tried talking to him about it but he just sat there mute the whole time. I don’t know about you but I haven’t heard him speak a word since we were in Vegas”

“No..” Luke said sadly shaking his head “I haven’t either”. Luke’s mother appeared in the doorway wiping her eyes and also trying to look strong but Luke could see right through her. 

“Boys” her voice cracking “Get in the car please”

  
Being only a couple feet from where Ashton’s body lay in the casket was making Luke feel sick to his stomach and also making him feel dizzy. He was zoning out so badly that he felt like he wasn’t even able to move his eyes away from it. He could see blurs of people on all sides of it and only when Calum slightly moved his arm against his is when Luke got bounced back into reality. Michael had come in late so he was standing at a tree opposite of Luke and Luke hoped he wasn’t standing next to him because he just didn’t see him and not because Michael didn’t want to be near him. Luke kept looking up at him wanting Michael to look back but he never did, he just kept looking up at the trees moving in the wind or at random people. As the priest was saying the final prayer Luke began to think of all times that Ashton had helped him through things and knew he would never have that again. He remembered Ashton tucking him in like a kid again at the party and them both laughing about it, he remembered Ashton always being the person making them get out of the house when they were feeling lazy. He was what held them together because whenever they would get in fights Ashton was the one making them apologize and reminding them how good of friends they really were. Luke began to get scared that he would lose his friends just because Ashton wasn’t there anymore and he felt so far away from Michael, physically and emotionally. He could feel the crowd breaking up and knew the service was over and he began to fall apart. His eyes getting wet and the lump in his throat wouldn’t go away this time. He began to breathe heavy and could feel Calum putting his hands on his back but he couldn’t look at him with tears in his eyes. Luke felt like the life had been taken right out of him but as he felt two arms around him holding him tight it got better and he knew it wasn’t Calum holding him. Michael pressed his face into Luke’s neck and let Luke do the same to him and as Michael began to rub his hand up and down Luke’s back. Luke swore this was the best he’s felt since all this happened and realized that this was what he needed the whole time. He just needed Michael.

  
But unfortunately all good things have to come to an end and they did when Michael told Luke that he was moving to Phoenix to live with his aunt and uncle. They were outside by the pool while Calum ran up to the store. 

“You’re just...leaving?” Luke stuttered out and he began to feel like he was falling apart all over again. 

“I just think it’s the best thing for me” He was being so mature and serious about this whole thing and Luke hated it. None of it made any sense to him. 

“When are you coming back?” Luke shot out quickly and he swore Michael looked like he was about to cry any second but it was gone in an instant

“I’m..I’m not really sure but I’ll be back. I promise” and Luke couldn’t look at him. “Lucas” Luke blinked away the tears and turned to face him “I’ll be back” this time Luke believed him and just hoped it would be soon. 

*

  
Luke spent every day for months hoping that Michael would come back the next day but he never did. He never called, never texted and Luke began to wonder if he was ever going to see him again. With each passing day Luke realized that he was starting to forget more and more of Michael. Sometimes he couldn’t even remember what his voice sounded like and it scared him to death. Life without Michael proved to be even worse than what he could have ever imagined and each day it seemed like he was getting better but he was actually getting worse. He just got better at hiding how much he was dying without him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE HAPPY CHAPTER YAY

1 YEAR LATER

“Luke..Luke listen to me just tap the ball in...just tap it in”

“Stop talking and just let me hit the damn ball, Calum” It was 1pm on the first day of summer vacation and Luke and Calum were playing putt putt golf on the pier in 90 degree weather. Luke carefully swung his club back and made the ball in “Yes!”

“In your face you bitches!” Calum yelled at the 10 year old on the sidewalk with the sad faces “Aww you gonna go cry to your mommies?” he said with some sort of lisp and Luke bent over in laughter then got serious and walked over to the one who seemed to be the leader of the group

“Alright you knew the deal. Hand over the 20 bucks” the kids exchanged a few glances as if they were having some secret conversation

“We want a re-match” he said crossing his arms and the others began nodding and mumbling “yeah”

“No way in hell!” Calum stepped in “The deal was if we beat you we get 20 bucks so hand it over or I’ll drown your asses”. Finally the kid reached in his pocket and pulled out the money handing it to Calum

“That’s like a week’s amount of arcade tokens man” He whined

“Oh boo hoo. Now scram” Calum pocketed the money then smiled at Luke “Let’s go get a pizza”

“Were we too rough on those kids?” Luke said while they were in the pizzeria sitting at a table by the window. Calum began to chew fast and look at the cars passing by

“Maybe but a bet is a bet and hey we got this delicious pizza out of the deal”

“Damn straight” Luke said before they bumped their drinks together

“Listen you know that Lyla girl I’ve been talking to?” Luke remembered her as the blonde girl who wouldn’t stop talking when they met her at the pier one day

“mhm”

“Well she told me about some huge party tonight and before you say no it’s at the beach so like we wouldn’t be stuck in some house. It’ll be fun” Luke had to admit that it didn’t sound too bad since he loved the beach and if he got bored he could take a late night swim or just sit off in the sand somewhere by himself

“Okay. I guess I’ll go” Calum choked on his drink a bit then smiled wide

“Really?”

“But you gotta get super drunk with me” Luke said with a smirk and Calum sat back and started to aggressively nod

“Now that’s what I’m talking about”

  
It was about 12am and the boys were at this place called The Cut. It was a small slice of the beach stuck in between two cliffs and it was always quiet, even tonight. There weren’t many people there which Luke was glad for, just maybe 10 people in the water, 20 around the fire and 10 just standing around. Luke was currently sat next to Calum feeling the warmness of the fire and looking up at the stars

“What a great night” Calum said stretching then laying next to Luke in the sand “But I do have to pee so you should come with me”

“Noooo. I don’t wanna get up” Luke groaned

“It’s too dark and I might get kidnapped being all by myself”

“Nobody would want to kidnap you”

“Ow!” Luke yelled in an exaggerated tone after Calum hit him on the stomach and then he began pulling Luke to his feet.

“Come on” Luke didn’t realize how drunk he really was until he was standing. He had drank at least 4 beers if not more, he couldn’t exactly remember

“Wait up Calum it’s not a fucking race”

“I gotta piss man!” and for some reason they both started laughing as they walked away from the fire, and Luke shivered a bit from the loss of heat. The sand was colder now and the only light was from a food truck across the street

“I uh..I think there’s a gas station a few blocks away” Calum began walking behind the cliff on the right side

“No way man I’m just going behind here” then he giggled “Don’t look..I got my dick out” and Luke was laughing again

“Bro I can’t even see my hand in front of my face so there’s no way I can see your tiny dick from all the way over here” Luke began to blink a few times hoping his eyes would adjust but he honestly couldn’t even tell where Calum was

“Tiny huh?” Calum said in a cocky tone “Really? Cause that’s not the word out on the street”

“No it’s tiny. Don’t lie”. Luke heard the sound of a zipper and knew Calum was getting closer

“Fine if you think yours is so huge then whip it out” Luke rolled his eyes even though he knew Calum couldn’t see him

“I’m not showing you my dick, Calum” then he took a deep breath when the wind picked up breathing in the hot summer air “Besides it’s dark as shit down here” Suddenly Calum was taking his phone light and shining it in his own face, only a foot away from Luke

“Show me the dick” he said in a spooky voice and Luke just lost it and his stomach started to hurt from laughing so he ended up sitting down “Fine fine I’m just going to continue to think its small and mine is like you know..super huge”

“Shut up” He said wiping his eyes and beginning to stand up “I’m cold lets head back”  
When they got back there was no one in the water anymore and a lot less people around the fire some kid they went to school with was calling Calum over. Calum quickly patted Luke on the back and made his way over there. The wind was starting to pick up so Luke got as close to the fire as he could and rested his chin on his knees looking out into the ocean and began thinking that it felt like years since he had surfed. He hadn’t done it since Michael left because for one Michael was the only person who would ever go with him and two surfing just didn’t feel right without him. He imagined that his surfboard in the closet was beginning to pick up dust by now and frowned a bit when he seen a big wave coming that looked perfect to surf on. There were a lot of things Luke stopped doing after Michael left and he had no intention of wanting to do them. Luke began to sober up after he started thinking about such serious things but then Calum was shouting his name across the fire

“Hey Luke! Even Nick here knows my dick is big so who do you have to prove yours is huh?” Luke glared at him for a few seconds, clearly over this dick conversation, and opened his mouth to say something

“What’s up with all the dick talk? but if we’re being serious here Luke has you beat Calum I mean I’ve seen that thing and its massive” Luke froze and he didn’t even know how long he sat there feeling like he wasn’t even breathing and when he did look up it was just to see the reaction of everyone around the fire. He was too scared to turn around. He was scared that the voice didn’t belong to who he thought it did and he didn’t want to get his hopes up but then the person was standing right in front of him and Luke just stared up at him then looked across to see Calum with his mouth wide open but then he got a smirk on his face

“You’re a god damn liar Michael you haven’t seen shit” Luke focused back on Michael in front of him and watched as his eyes moved to the direction where Calum was then his whole face turned into a smile when he looked back to Luke. He was so much taller than what Luke remembered and it was quite intimidating if he was being honest so Luke stood up and Michael widened his eyes

“Wow. You really shot up” Luke felt like his cheeks were on fire and he started to panic because why the hell he was blushing?

“Yeah umm so did you” and there Michael went just a smiling again and it was making Luke feel weak at the knees

“Get over here” he pulled Luke into a tight hug just like he had at the funeral but this time Luke wasn’t a crying mess and he could feel Michael smiling against his neck. Luke began to relax into the hug and rested his head on Michael’s shoulder never wanting the hug to end. Michael gave his back a slight rub and Luke swallowed hard feeling tears come on. He had just missed his best friend so much.

“Okay it’s my turn now” Calum appeared pushing Luke out of the way and wrapping himself around Michael. Luke was still examining Michael trying to figure out what was so different about him. It had only been a year but Luke had felt like it had been an entire life time without Michael because of how much he missed him and how much he had changed. Luke started to wonder if Michael thought he changed to and he hoped he didn’t seem completely the same to him. “Okay let’s get the fuck out of here .We’ve got our boy back Luke!” Luke jumped a bit then forced a smile and glanced up to see Michael raising his eyebrows, giving him a worried look. It wasn’t that Luke was unhappy, because god he was so happy to see Michael again, but all this was a little too much to wrap his head around all at once. He just needed to calm down a bit and be in a secure place.

  
Walking back to the house Luke was silent for the longest time just listening to the sound of Michael’s voice and watching his own feet not wanting to get too distracted and trip. Calum was in the middle and him and Michael just kept talking about parties but Luke wasn’t really paying attention to anything Calum was saying. Luke had even felt like Michael’s voice had changed and he watched as Michael tucked his hands into his jean jacket sleeves and shivered a bit. Luke was walking a little behind them just so he could watch Michael and realized that seemed weird so he picked up the pace and leaned against Calum feeling exhausted all of a sudden. Calum took a double look at him then put one arm around Luke pulling him against himself.

“Gettin’ tired Lukey?” Luke moved his head against Calum’s chest in an attempt at a nod then moved his eyes to see Michael giving him a soft look “Do you mind if we go to your house Luke? I think my parents are home”

“We can yeah”

Of course the whole house was pitch dark when they walked in because neither of Luke’s parents was home and Calum ran ahead of them switching on the living room light. Michael took in the sight of the house feeling as if it hadn’t even changed a bit but he shyly followed Calum and Luke as if it were his first time being there. Any other time he would run straight to the fridge or go switch on the TV making sure he got to pick what they were watching but now he didn’t feel comfortable doing anything like that.

“So! Phoenix. How was it out there?” Michael sat on the couch next to the one Calum and Luke were on and started to feel a bit more relaxed

“Umm hot” Michael shrugged “I don’t know..not much happened if I’m honest”

“Michael get real” Calum sat forward wanting to hear more “There had to of been something. I’m sure you met some babes”

“Well yeah but nothing serious” then Michael did his thinking face and Luke finally picked his head up wondering what he was thinking about “There was this one girl I met though. Super cool chick who worked at Pizza Hut so that was basically all I lived off of while I was there....” Luke began to block out what Michael was saying, not wanting to hear any more of it, and just focused on the way Michael kept messing with his bracelets and the way he would ruffle his hair before putting his snapback back on. He didn’t know why all these little things were fascinating him so much but it scared him. Before Michael left Luke would have never just sat there watching his every move and he never had such a strong want of being close Michael than he did at this very moment. Michael felt so far away from him and he wished they were back at the beach when Michael was hugging him tightly. He quickly shook those thoughts away then got to his feet, startling the others.

“I’m gonna go to bed” He mumbled and Michael’s smile faded instantly which made Luke sick to his stomach

“Luke...” Calum chuckled a bit then gestured to Michael “Michael just got here”

“I’m really tired” He quickly shot out “I can barely keep my eyes open”

“Bullshit. Come on just stay down here with us we can-“

“No its okay” Michael finally spoke then gave Luke a smile “Get some sleep” Luke just stood there trying to take in this whole new person who was in front of him but realized he probably stood there staring for too long when Michael bit his lip and looked down to the floor

“Well umm one of you can sleep in Ashton’s room if you want” Luke watched Michael instantly cringe and knew that there was no way he was sleeping in there. Luke himself rarely ever stepped foot in that room and Calum wouldn’t go in there even if you stood on the other side offering him a hundred dollar bill. It was just too painful for them and Luke realized that Michael felt the same way. A year ago Michael would just automatically sleep in Luke’s bed with him and Luke wished it would be like that now. He itched his arm out of pure nervousness and forced himself to look back to Michael “Night guys” and turned around before either of them could answer but they both said “night” as he was walking up the stairs.

  
Luke just laid on his back staring at the ceiling as he wished he could have handled staying down there a little longer because as weird as it seemed, he already missed Michael. He just couldn’t handle the feelings that came with hearing Michael talk about girls. It was making Luke feel frustrated and sad and he didn’t understand why hearing his best friend talk about girls made him so flustered. He kept tossing and turning for hours hoping he would hear Michael laugh or say something loud downstairs just to remind him that he was still there but he never did.  
Luke awoke to the sound of his door creaking open but just continued to keep his eyes shut not knowing if he really heard it or not in his half asleep daze but soon there was footsteps getting closer and he just knew someone was there. His head picked up from his pillow and jumped

“It’s just me” Luke blinked a few times to see Michael standing there in only his boxers then he watched as his adam apple moved “Do you uh..Do you mind if I sleep here?” Luke moved back, making room for Michael without having to even think twice about it. He watched Michael shuffle around with the blanket then finally settle on lying on his stomach and rubbing his face against the pillow. Luke got mad at himself for once again getting so caught up in the little things that Michael would do but he got a little scared as Michael began to shut his eyes

“Why are you being so like...nice?” It was a dumb question and Luke knew that but Michael usually would just jump into the bed without even asking if he was allowed to or not. Michael did a tired laugh then opened his eyes and leaned on his elbows looking down at Luke

“Haven’t I always been nice Luke?” It was the first time Michael had said his name since he had been back and the cocky tone of his voice was making Luke feel like he was slowly getting the old Michael back

“Well it’s just that usually you would jump in bed without even asking if you could” and it made Luke’s heart speed up the way that Michael was just staring down at him, his smile gone now.

“Well things have changed now don’t you think?” Michael used that soft tone he had used downstairs making Luke confused again

“They don’t have to” Luke realized he had said that way too quickly but Michael got a mischievous look on his face then wrapped his one arm around Luke bringing him to his side of the bed and quickly got up. Luke furrowed his eyebrows and doesn’t think he had been this confused in his entire life. He watched closely as Michael left the room only to come right back in

“Alright move the fuck over” and then Michael was pushing Luke over to the other side of the bed and instantly taking all the blankets from him as he laid down

“And don’t even THINK about stealing these back. I deserve them way more than you do Luke” Luke stopped widening his eyes when he realized what Michael was doing and let out a loud laugh then put his mouth into the pillow. He had his best friend back

“You’re fucking crazy”. Michael laughed with him then began giving him some of the blankets back “I was so confused”

“Yeah? Was that mean enough for you?” Michael teased

“It was perfect. Just the right amount of meanness”

“Well I’m glad..” Michael quickly shook his head and got ready to deepen his voice “I mean...fuck you Luke you’re a total nerd”

“A nerd...brutal comeback Michael. That really hurts”

“Shut up” Michael said with a loud laugh then sighed and Luke could tell he was getting tired “You really are a nerd though”

“I know” Luke looked Michael up and down as he pulled the blankets up to his chin and shut his eyes

“Night Luke” Luke swallowed hard and forced himself to get the thought of snuggling up against Michael out of his head

“Night Michael”

*

Luke couldn’t get the good feeling he felt out of his head from waking up and seeing Michael laying next to him. For a few seconds it felt as if he was seeing him for the first time again since he had been back and Luke couldn’t stop smiling. Now they were all eating breakfast at the patio table by the pool and Luke noticed that Calum couldnt stop scratching his legs

“Calum” Luke spoke making him stop itching “Are you like...okay?”

“No...I’m itchy all over” Michael stopped eating then gave Calum a worried look

“Stand up” Calum squinted at Michael but did as he was told “Roll up your pants” and Luke and Michael both cringed as they looked at the redness all over his legs

“You my friend have poison ivy”

“Fuck..Well what..what do I do?” Michael chuckled then looked to Luke

“You know that lotion you use when you have chicken pox?” Luke nodded “Do you have any of that?”

“We might in the upstairs bathroom”

  
Upstairs Calum was sitting on the counter nervously moving his leg up and down while Luke dug through the cabinets

“Found it” and Luke handed it to Calum

“Just rub it all over” Michael said “It should stop the itching and be gone in a few days”

“How do you know all this doctor stuff?” Calum made a grossed out face as he put the lotion on his hands

“It’s not doctor stuff stupid its common sense. Scratching spreads rashes” Michael spoke in a higher pitched voice

“Big Daddy” Luke mumbled and Michael reached back and gave him a high five

“The movie reference thing again guys? Really?” Calum whined

“I think you’re just pissed cause you never notice them”

“Whatever but for real what happens if I don’t put this lotion on every day?”

“Well then they’ll just have to amputate your legs” Michael said as if it were no big deal and Calum gave him the look to kill “If you don’t put it on the rash won’t go away and you’ll be itchy forever. Just put the shit on”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something pretty big happens in this chapter. I love Luke and Michael's little moment (As well as Luke and Calum's little talk) Let me know how you liked it! I love the comments

Later in the day after the boys got bored with playing video games and watching TV they decided to go walk around town and it seemed like every minute some new person was stopping to say hi to Michael and going on and on about how much they missed him and asking him all these questions. Luke was getting tired of it and it made him especially upset when girls would come running up to Michael, hugging him and touching his arms in a flirty way. Luke kept trying to not get mad about it but he couldn’t help it and every time he got that scowl his face when girls would come around he would always catch Calum looking at him in a weird way and a few times he even asked Luke if he was okay. Luke of course would just lie and say he was fine but in reality he wished he could have Michael all to himself. He thought it was unfair that he had to go all this time without seeing his best friend only to have to share him with all these other people. He was just fine sharing him with Calum but everyone else seemed unnecessary. When they were walking out of a store after stocking up on a bunch of junk food this girl named Cara that they went to school popped out of nowhere and jumped onto Michael giving him a huge hug and Luke was fuming once again

“Michael oh my god how you been?!” Luke cringed at her high pitched voice and leaned against Michael a little just wanting to let him know that he was still there. He had done that a lot today.

“I’m great. It’s good to be back” Michael wasn’t being too overly friendly with her and that gave Luke some comfort but then she grabbed a hold of Michael’s hands and Luke felt like he was going to explode

“Listen I know I already asked you this the other day but I’m having an early birthday party tonight at my house and I was wondering if you wanted to come” Say no please say no Luke kept repeating in his head because he didn’t want to be stuck going to some party but he also still wanted to be able to be around Michael. Then he was looking up to see Michael staring at him and Luke quickly pushed the thought of wanting to kiss him right out of his head. He was just so close and these feelings he had been having since he got back were really starting to worry him.

“Do you want to go?” Michael asked him quietly making sure only Luke heard him and Luke shook his head and got a warm feeling in his stomach when Michael smiled at him and lowered his eyes a bit “Maybe some other time” Michael answered her

“But you’re free to come over to Luke’s house and chill with us for a little while before your party” Calum said stepping in front of Luke and Luke felt like kicking his ass. _What the hell was he trying to do?_ And besides Luke never even said it was okay that she could come over. Michael let his eyes drift over to Calum and Luke noticed that he looked a little mad.

“Wow your house is beautiful!” Luke literally wanted to die and it got even worse when she sat incredibly close to Michael on the couch and began brushing the hair out of his face. Luke wanted to sit by Michael but he sat in the recliner chair instead facing away from them and switching on the TV. All he could do was hope this Cara chick would leave soon but he couldn’t even concentrate on the show he was watching when she kept giggling “Are you sure you don’t want to come to my party Michael?” Luke tensed up and waited for Michael to reply

“Sorry..I just wanna chill with my boys tonight” and Luke began to feel better.

“Oh they’ll always be here Michael” she said in a snotty tone “They aren’t going anywhere” Finally Luke had enough and he went storming into the kitchen and heard Calum following behind him.

“Luke seriously what has been your problem all day?” Luke leaned against the counter and glared up at him

“Nothing I’m fine”

“Bullshit” and Luke should have known better than to try and fool Calum

“Why did you have to invite her over her? And without even fucking asking me?” Calum squinted then looked around the kitchen

“Cause I didn’t think it would be a big deal, Luke. I’ve invited girls over here before and you’ve never cared”

“Well I care now” Luke didn’t mean to blurt that out so loudly but he was just so upset

“Umm why? Why is this time any different?” Luke realized right then that he only hated this girl because she was a threat to him and because he didn’t want her to steal Michael’s attention away from him. Calum was right; Luke never cared about girls being around before and when he looked up to see them still on the couch together he got a sickening feeling in his stomach that he had never gotten before when girls were around Michael so why was he getting it now? But who was Luke kidding..he knew why he was feeling like this and it was because he liked Michael. He really liked him and the realization hit him like a truck “Luke? Luke you okay?” Luke’s breathing started to slow down as he fell back into reality and focused on Calum

“Forget it” He mumbled before walked out of the kitchen then he heard Calum snicker

“Luke! What am I missing here?” he shouted once Luke was already near the stairs  
Luke dragged himself to his bedroom not even knowing what he was even going to do up there all by himself but just knowing he couldn’t stay down there with that girl practically throwing herself at Michael any longer. If she even looked at him Luke felt like he wanted to just run over to Michael and sit by him, making it clear to this Cara girl that Michael was his and that she couldn’t have him. But Michael wasn’t his and she could easily have him. Luke sat at the edge of his bed hunched over with his hands in his hair trying to calm down but he couldn’t help but think what they were doing down there now once he was gone. Yeah Calum was down there with them too but who knows what she was capable of. He switched on the TV and watched 2 episodes of Family Guy before rolling on his side wanting to just sleep

"Luke". Luke jerked his head up and tried to act like nothing was wrong. Calum was leaning against the doorway with his hands in the pockets of his sweat pants and a concerned look on his face “You’re really worrying me” When Luke didn’t say a word and rolled his eyes to the TV Calum took it upon himself to turn the TV off to make sure he had Luke’s full and sat himself down in the computer chair. Luke let out an annoyed sign knowing there was only so many times he could use the "I'm tired" excuse. He'd been using it a lot today and he knew Calum will just keep asking him what’s wrong until Luke told him the truth.

"What do you want?" he knew it sounded rude and regretted it instantly. After all Calum was just trying to help

"How long have we've been friends?" Luke couldn’t help but grin a bit at that remembering all the fun times they had as kids

"Since 1st grade" he mumbled

"Right. Since 1st grade and in all those years when have I ever put down something you said or acted like a problem of yours wasn't important?" Luke finally looked up but not right at him and thought long and hard. He couldn't think of a single time Calum let him down

"Never"

"Never" Luke could feel Calum’s stare on him and knew he was waiting for Luke to look up at him before he continued " Now what I don’t understand is why you've been feeding me this line of shit all day saying that nothing is wrong and that you’re completely fine" Luke flinched at the sudden sharpness in Calum’s voice and was unsure of what to say " I also can’t help but notice that this all started soon after Michael got back" Calum rubbed his face and Luke knew that his voice would soften now "Whatever it is you can tell me cause you being like this is affecting me too and it keeps me up at night wondering why every time you're around Michael it looks like someone just ripped your heart out of your chest" A lump formed in his throat and he felt like any minute he could burst into tears. He'd been holding it in ever since this all started and he didn’t know how much longer he could handle all this by himself. For the first time he felt like he could really tell Calum what was going on. Maybe this could help him. Luke had always had this weird feeling about guys in the past but they had never been this strong and admitting to his friend that he might be gay scared him a bit. But telling him about Michael would be another problem in itself. Luke knew that would be the hardest part and he scooted back on his bed and leaned against the headboard knowing that he needed to just tell him. He needed to tell someone.

"What would you think if I was...gay?" Luke was afraid to meet Calum’s eyes so he just focused on messing with a thread hanging off his blanket

"Are you?" Luke looked at him and was shocked at the calmness on Calum's face. He didn’t even look surprised whatsoever except he was chewing on his lip a little. Luke waited for Calum to look up then nodded "That’s what this was all about? Jesus Luke you could have told me that"

"Why aren’t you surprised...like at all? Calum grinned and glanced on the window

"I seen you checking me out a few times" he said to lighten the mood. Luke did a tired laugh and leaned his head back feeling like some of the weight was lifted off of him "I don’t know man. I'm just not. You’re gay who cares" but then Luke felt a jolt through his body when he seen the look on Calum's face. He was staring down at floor, his eyes wide and mouth slightly opened. Luke was so scared of what Calum just realized that he couldn’t even talk "But what..." Calum trailed off then finally met Luke's gaze “but why are you just realizing this now that Michael is back?" Calum was talking to himself more than Luke and Luke was hoping he would just figure it out so he wouldn’t have to say it himself. "Luke.." Luke turned his head completely away from him and closed his eyes trying to slow his heartbeat down. He wanted to crawl out of his skin and just disappear from all of this. He sniffled and Calum instantly got up from his chair to be closer to Luke.

"Cause I like Michael..I really like him Calum” Luke didn’t remember his brain telling him to say that out loud but it felt good to have the words finally leave his mouth.

"Shit" Calum said under his breath. He put a hand on Luke’s arm "I mean you of all people know how he can be. We've watched him use girls and just..throw them away. He's not someone you want to get involved with"

"But he's changed" Luke said hopefully "I can see it"

"Yeah I guess..but he's still Michael. I know he's always treated you better than anyone" Calum was struggling on what to say "You deserve someone better. That’s all I'm saying". Luke got a bit flustered and leaned away from Calum’s touch

"It doesn’t even fucking matter. Even if in some alternate world he was gay he would never want to be with me anyways. I've been trying to get over it and it’s not working. I can’t even stand to see him with other girls. I don't know what to do". Calum felt weight on his chest as he could see how much pain his best friend was in.

"But why all these feelings now? you guys have been friends for years" Luke shrugged

"Maybe I've felt like this for years but never allowed myself to feel it until now you know? but it has gotten worse since he’s come back. It's just like he was gone for so long when he finally came back I realized how much I needed him in my life and I-" Luke started tearing up again and forced himself to look at Calum "I didn’t want to be just friends with him anymore. I needed all of him. It took every muscle in my body to let him go that day he hugged me down at the beach. I wanted him to hold me like that for a lot longer than he did and that's when I knew I was fucked. I felt it right away " Luke was looking away now from embarrassment after he just spilled out his heart about liking his best friend.

"Damn Luke. I uh..I didn’t know you were in this deep” Calum let out a breath "Maybe you need to just tell him" Luke could tell his sadness was rubbing off on Calum and now he felt terrible for going on and on about it. He decided to change the subject a little because something else was bothering him.

"So Michael’s down there with Cara all by himself" Luke was relieved when Calum shook his head

"She left before I came up here”

"So what is Michael doing down there?" Calum laughed and it felt like it had been forever since either of them did.

"Making pancakes. You know how he's crazy about his pancakes" Luke licked his lips and they both thought about it for a second

"Pancakes do sound really-"

"Yeah...yeah they do I'm actually starving" Calum said quickly. They exchanged smiles and hopped off the bed "But hey Lukey...just think about what I said..about telling Michael. I can't stand seeing you like this bro" Luke nodded and was instantly sad again. Something inside of him was pulling him back towards his room and wanting to just say he’s not hungry anymore but before he knew it he was following Calum down the carpeted stairs and into the even more air conditioned living room.

"About time you fuckers came down here I was starting to think I'd have to eat all these pancakes by myself". Luke slouched down on the stool looking miserable but his face looked a little brighter when he looked up at Michael. Michael was concentrating hard as he flipped over his pancake then slightly fixed his backwards black snapback that he was always wearing. A cool evening breeze blew in and Michael, getting cold, covered his neck with his hood as much as possible. Luke had the sudden urge to jump over the counter and cuddle him. He was just cold it wasn’t a huge deal but Luke just wanted to be close to him. Michael felt Luke’s eyes on him and Luke immediately looked down. Lukes hearbeat sped up as Michael continued to look at him and Calum felt a little uneasy at the tension in the room.

"Luke what’s up with you man?" Michael said quietly and Calum widened his eyes not remembering Michael’s voice ever sounding so soft and caring. Luke just focused on something on the counter. Michael brought his eyes over to Caum looking for some sort of answer but Calum just shrugged and tried not giving away the fact that he knew literally everything. Michael put two pancakes on a plate, drizzled syrup over them and slid the plate over to Luke. Luke forced a smile and it got even bigger when he seen Michael’s face light up. Every time Michael looked at Luke he felt like he was looking into the sun and he was forced to look away not being able to handle the heat on his face any longer. He began eating even though he had no appetite whatsoever. "They good?"

"You always make the best pancakes". It made Luke feel a lot better when Michael started glowing from the compliment and mumbled a shy “thanks”.

*

  
Luke knew it was the sudden change in temperature that woke up because he felt a cold breeze on his back when his eyes began to flicker open and he turned around to see Michael sitting on the window seat with his knees curled up to his chest. In the dark room Luke couldn’t see his face but he knew it was moving up and down as if he was watching something outside. The wind picked up again and he watched as Michael covered his arms a bit. All Luke wanted was for Michael to come back to bed and snuggle under the blankets with him but he knew for sure one of those things wasn’t happening.

“Michael” Luke cleared his throat to make sure his sleepy voice didn’t crack again “Are you okay?” a year ago Luke would of never asked him a question like that because Michael would always get so defensive when anyone would seem worried about him. It was like he felt like less of a man if he had any type of feelings what so ever but he seemed different now so Luke thought he would at least ask. He just wanted Michael to know that he cared. He cared more than anyone knew.

“The people across the street are having some big ass party” His eyes glued back out the window “This drunk guy keeps falling in the pool. It’s priceless” He didn’t answer the question but he also wasn’t upset at all so Luke knew he was in the clear

“Which house is it?” Luke spoke into his pillow

“That blue one with the big porch..Come here come here” He said quickly patting the cushion “I’ve been watching them for like an hour” Luke wrapped a small blanket around himself then walked over to the window. It wasn’t exactly made for 2 people but Luke sat down anyways because it just gave him an excuse to be closer to Michael. He sat against the other side of the wall and stretched one leg out to where it was resting against Michael’s hip then forced him to look outside and not at Michael who had this big smile on his face.

“Holy shit” Michael wasn’t kidding either. There were easily over a hundred people in the front yard “Is that guy wearing an alligator suit?”

“Oh yeah. That’s Derek. He’s a crazy mother fucker” Luke slowly looked at Michael who looked so interested in this party and tried not to laugh too loud

“Are you sure you’ve only been watching them for an hour?”

“Well its probably been a little over an hour but that guy is like the life of the party...everyone keeps yelling his name and shit wanting his attention kind of like-“

“Kind of like you?” Michael got a smirk on his face that made Luke shiver.

“No dork. I was gonna say kind of like Calum. He always gets a lot of attention at parties” and Luke just couldn’t tear his eyes away. The street lights were making his skin almost glow and all he wanted to do was lean forward and wrap himself around Michael “What?” Michael said with a chuckle

“What?” Luke panicked a bit worried that he said something out loud that he wasn’t aware of.

“Why were you looking at me like that?” Michael’s voice didn’t sound mad which made Luke feel some comfort. He just sounded curious but honestly Luke didn’t feel like he was looking at him any different. At least he didn’t notice he was.

“It’s nothing..” Luke trailed off but he knew Michael wouldn’t let him get away with that vague answer so he decided to tell a little bit of the truth “You’re just different that’s all”. Michael sat up straight and rested his arms on his knees giving Luke a sharp look.

“Is it a good change or a bad change?”

“A good one” Luke spit out then he realized that could have sounded bad “I mean there was nothing wrong with how you were before but...this version of you is good too” A car drove past with bright headlights revealing Michael’s face better and his eyes looked a little glazed over but he was smiling. It was a proud looking smile but Luke had no idea what he could have done to make Michael proud of him.

“There was a lot wrong with me Lukey” and Luke’s heart sunk. He wanted Michael to have that smile back on his face and he watched closely as Michael leaned his head against the window. Luke had never seen him look so small and it frightened him “I treated a lot of people badly..and for no reason. I was just an asshole”

“You weren’t to me” Luke was just trying to say anything that would cheer him up again but it was true. Michael had never hurt him...except for when he left him. That was the harshest thing he had ever done to Luke.

“I wasn’t always as good to you as I should of been” the softness of his voice made Luke think he was going to break down any second and he knew what Michael was talking about. He wondered why Michael had left ever since the day he did but Michael was already in enough pain as it was so Luke pushed the question away and decided to change the subject.

“Do I umm..Do I seem different to you?” Luke let out a sigh of relief when Michael’s lips curled up and his eyes went back to him.

“Besides your height you’re exactly the same” Luke felt a little bummed out at that answer and it must have showed on his face “You didn’t need to change though Luke. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you” Luke felt like the breath had been taken from him with those last words and he knew the look he was giving Michael wasn’t a friend type of look but he didn’t care. He began to picture himself curling up against Michael and holding him tight until they both fell asleep and this whole situation was driving him crazy. There was so much he wanted to do with Michael but he wasn’t able to do anything. Michael looked at him with hooded eyes as he leaned his head back against the wall then he pat Luke on the shin and looked right back out the window as if nothing had happened. Luke had to think of a way to tell Michael how he felt...and soon.

*

  
Luke could barely even look at Michael the whole next day. He felt like the moment they had last night had been so intimate and it had made his feelings for Michael sky rocket. Luke hated that he was being affected by something as little as Michael giving him a compliment but he couldn’t stop replaying that whole conversation in his head and it was even worse that Michael had noticed something was off with him. He would keep looking over at Luke giving him a worried look and a few time he even mouthed “Are you okay?” to Luke. Luke would always just nod and glue a forced smile to his face but he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep this up for very long and he also knew he had no idea how to tell Michael how he had been feeling. It made him so nervous to try and think about how that conversation would play out so he made himself think about other things but somehow he was always brought back to Michael.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is even still reading this fic lmao here is the big chapter (aka Luke finally gets his feelings out and tells Michael) This was for sure my favorite one to write. Hope you like it!

Luke was coming out of the bathroom and into his bedroom as Calum stopped him with his hand on Luke’s chest.

"What?" Luke asked with an attitude

"You know what..Just tell Michael. You know you need to tell him Luke"

"Why does it matter to you if I tell him or not?" Luke said raising his voice

"Jesus Luke...You know I usually don’t give a shit how Michael feels but I know he feels like he did something wrong because of how you’ve been acting around him. Now you owe it to him to tell him ". Luke knew he was right but he still couldn’t help that nervous feeling in his stomach

"What If I don’t know how to tell him?” Luke said his voice cracking. Calum looked down almost feeling as shitty as Luke was.

"Tell me what?" Michael said coming around the corner. Luke felt like he was going to be sick, not knowing how much he had heard and began to breathe heavy as Michael was practically burning a hole through his face. He had to tell Michael now. He had no choice but he didn’t dare want to have this conversation with Calum there and he hadn’t begun to think about what he would even say to Michael. How do you tell your best friend that you have feelings for him? He didn’t even notice that he was shaking until Calum put two hands on his arms and whispered "calm down". It didn’t help of course. His heart was going a million miles an hour. Michael finally took his stare off of Luke and put his eyes on Calum.

"Get out" He said sternly making Calum flinch

"Michael..." Calum said softly, scared of what was going through his mind

"I said leave" this time it was just as stern but in a much more quiet voice. Calum took a last look at Luke just to see how he was doing and lightly rubbed his arm because of how scared he looked. Calum really didn’t want to leave him like this but he had no choice. Michael’s face turned friendlier once Calum had left and Luke started to relax a little

"So what'd you need to tell me?" Luke began to look at the floor shaking his head

"I um..I just wanted to tell you that" He was desperately trying to think of a lie. He was nowhere near ready to tell him so he was looking for a way out "I just wanted to tell you that I don’t like that Cara girl" that actually wasn’t a lie. The reason he didn’t like her was because she was beautiful and he didn’t want her to take Michael away from him. Even though Michael wasn’t even his

"Yeah well that makes two of us". Luke scrunched his face incredibly confused and finally met Michael’s gaze

"What?"

"Calum kind of forced her on me I mean I turned down going to her stupid party for a reason then he just invites her over -" Michael closed his eyes for a second

“She was bugging the shit out of me” Luke's face lit right up. It made him feel so much better knowing that Michael didn’t even like the girl "Alright now let’s go down to the beach and you can tell me what you really wanted to tell me" Luke put his hand through his hair feeling like shit that he wasn’t off the hook yet

"But that was it...I told you what I needed to tell you"

"No it wasn’t. I Can tell when you're lying now get a sweatshirt. It’s cold out". Luke looked around his room but didn’t see a single sweatshirt of his.

"Whatever I'll be fine". Michael turned away from him and Luke was still looking at him waiting for him to say something

"Alright come on". He followed Michael down the hallway and down the stairs keeping a close distance. Michael grabbed his gray Stanford sweatshirt that was hanging off the couch and threw it to Luke without warning. Luke shrugged and put it on having a warm feeling in his stomach from something as simple as Michael not wanting him to get cold. He also liked the way it smelled just like Michael: a mixture of sunscreen and his cologne. He actually got lost in the smell for a second and didn’t even realize they were already outside and walking towards the beach. Luke for some reason started watching the way Michael’s legs moved in his light washed jeans that fit him perfectly then caught up to him and stood next to him so he wouldn’t be distracted so much. He didn’t exactly know what they would do at the beach but he was hoping he would just be able to sit down with Michael and relax and that was exactly what they did. They both sat down putting their knees up and resting their arms on them. He looked over at Michael who was focused on watching the waves. The light from the moon was shining on him and making his green eyes almost look an entirely different color and Luke decided he would look at him until he noticed and then he would force himself to look away. Except for when Michael did finally turn his head Luke couldn’t look away and they just sat there staring at each other. Luke suddenly had great confidence that he could tell Michael how he felt.

"So what’s on your mind? Come on Luke" his soft voice sent a shiver through Luke and the nervousness came back again. He decided to go slow with telling him though. Luke took a deep breath then put his face down in his arms for a second to calm himself down.

"I just missed you...a lot and I still don’t understand why you..why you left" not only was Luke freaking out but he also started to feel some tears come on and he wasn’t going to let himself cry in front of Michael.

"Cause I'm a coward" Michael’s deep voice made Luke jump a little, especially since he didn’t expect him to respond as soon as he did "I'm a fucking coward Luke and I just wanted to leave it all behind and act like it never happened" Michael rubbed his hand over his mouth and turned his head away completely before saying what he wanted to say next and Luke leaned forward trying to see his face. " I couldn’t stand seeing you all torn up and knowing that I couldn’t do a single thing to make you feel better" he shook his head then looked out at the water so Luke could at least see the side of his face "After only a day of being there I wanted to come back. Jesus, I wanted to come back so bad and I regretted leaving you so much but my parents told me I had to finish the school year out there and I know I never called but I just knew hearing you voice would make things so much worse on me plus I figured there was no way in hell you would even want anything to do with me" Luke realized his mouth had been hanging open the whole time so he quickly closed it swallowing hard not even believing what he was hearing. He dug his feet into the sand desperately trying to think of words to say.

"You missed me?" 'say you missed me' was what Luke really wanted to say but he just needed to hear him say those words and when Michael finally focused on his face it took every muscle in Luke’s body to stop himself from leaning forward and doing what he'd wanted to do every since Michael got back. He licked his lips and couldn’t help but glance at Michael’s but he quickly brought his eyes back up hoping Michael didn’t think anything of it.

"I missed you Luke" Luke couldn’t believe the way Michael was looking at him. He almost seemed like an entirely different person and all Luke wanted to do was reach out and touch him. Even if he just brushed his fingers across his arm, he needed some sort of contact but he was still scared of how Michael would react. It was almost as if Michael sensed what his best friend was thinking because he all of a sudden moved his leg and leaned it against Luke’s while his head was turned away. Luke felt all warm inside just from that little touch and became very sleepy. Just wanting to lean his head on Michael’s shoulder and fall asleep but he once again stopped himself from doing that. He held himself back a lot whenever he was with Michael because he just always wanted so much more of him. "You look tired" Michael said making Luke look at him again. He nodded and rubbed his eyes

"I am"

"Me too. Do you wanna go back?" did Luke want to go back and share a warm bed with Michael? More than anything but he was also feeling very needy..more needy than he usually felt so he didn’t know how much longer he would be able to hold back from touching Michael or kissing him. It made him nervous and he hoped he would be able to contain himself. He must have nodded at Michael’s question because they were already walking toward the house

"You know..I missed the way it smells here. Phoenix was just so hot all the time the only thing you could focus on when you were outside was not sweating to death" Luke chuckled and kicked a few rocks as he walked

"So it was awful living there?"

"Yeah for a lot of reasons. I’m not meant to be anywhere but here" Luke really liked this new way Michael was acting. He was really saying things from his heart and Luke began to think that he didn’t belong anywhere but with Michael. The rest of the walk up to the house was silent for the most part but Luke didn’t mind. It was just nice being alone with Michael. He was still thinking about how he was gonna tell Michael the rest of what he needed to tell him but every time he'd accidently look over at Michael his thought process would start all over again because of how distracted he got. He was so fucked.  
Calum was gone when they got back and when they got up to Luke’s room Michael instantly grabbed his shirt from the back and threw it on the floor and Luke found himself just frozen in place staring at Michael’s bare back. It wasn’t like Luke never seen Michael shirtless, he seen it all the time actually, but this time was different because his feelings had been so strong the whole night. Luke was still a little cold so he decided to just sleep in Michael’s sweatshirt but even if he wasn’t cold he knew he still wouldn’t want to take it off. He quickly looked away as Michael turned around to sit in the computer chair. Luke dragged himself over to the bed and sat on the edge facing Michael. Dangerously close to him. Michael looked up and for basically the first time all night a smile started to form in the corner of his mouth.

"I uh...didn’t get to tell you everything I wanted to tell you cause I'm having a really hard time finding the right words and" he closed his eyes and looked at the floor "The guts to tell you". Michael's smile had faded completely now and he looked just as nervous as Luke which didn’t give him any comfort. "And I'm just gonna come out and say it cause I don’t know how else to handle it and I know it will all just start spilling out so..,Here it goes" Luke was scared to look at Michael’s face so he didn’t and realized he probably wouldn’t the whole time he was talking "I've been having these different feelings.. About you ever since you got back. Feelings that I shouldn’t be having about my best friend especially when I know they aren’t mutual" Luke could tell Michael had shifted in his seat so that his elbows were on his knees and he leaned his chin on his hands that were clasped together. He looked up but slightly to the right focusing on the window behind Michael. "I used to see you kissing other girls and it made me so uneasy. I never knew why but now I know that it was because I wanted you to kiss me like that" Luke’s stomach dropped and he couldn’t fucking believe he just said that out loud and instantly regretted it but he still continued after hearing how loud Michael just swallowed "When you got back I just wanted to be around you all the time and but I wanted you in a different way than before" he was talking a lot faster now "I know you don’t feel the same and I understand but It’s just something I needed to get off my chest and that’s why I've been acting so weird around you" at this point he was on the verge of tears and was trying so hard to hide it so he just put his face in his hands not even wanting to see the look on Michael’s face "I'm so sorry" he didn’t know why he was even apologizing he just felt like he owed it to Michael.

"Luke" there was a crack in his voice and Luke knew there was no way he was crying. He'd never seen Michael even close to crying before and besides he had no reason to be. If anything Luke felt like Michael should be upset with him. He still refused to take his face out of his hands "Lucas look at me" yep, he was definitely upset. Luke took a deep breath and lifted his head, looking at Michael with his glossy eyes but widened them when he seen how Michael’s face was almost glowing. He wasn’t smiling but it was all in his eyes "When I was away from you I realized how much I needed you and" he put his hand through his hair like thinking of the right words to say “I knew I never wanted to be away from you like that ever again. It sounds stupid but something as simple as having to go to the grocery store without you was just awful then I'd want to call you and ask where something was" Michael chuckled and that warm feeling was coming back to Luke. He was still nervous but it was an excited type of nervous "then I realized you were hundreds of miles away from me and it made me sick to my stomach. I just needed to be close to you and now that I am I-" Michael finally forced himself to look at Luke "I want so much more with you Luke. Maybe I've always felt this way" Luke opened his lips slightly to let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and he could swear his heart was going to beat right out of his chest and there was only one thing he needed to do but was insanely scared to make the move. Michael stood up and began walking towards Luke. Luke continued sitting not knowing what he was planning on doing. "Come're " he said in almost a whisper and Luke instantly obeyed. He loved the way Michael was looking at him and this alone was giving him chills. Michael had such big greens eyes and Luke was being hypnotized by them more than ever. Before he knew it he felt Michael’s warm lips on his. He kissed him back softly as Michael raised his one hand to grip Luke’s neck as the other softly rubbed his arm and Luke felt like his entire body was on fire but he needed more. Luke raised his slightly shaking hand and started to brush the back of his hand up and down Michael’s stomach. That simple touch from Luke must have triggered something in Michael because he began to kiss Luke more roughly and brought his other hand on Michael’s neck and tightened his grip making Luke breathe heavily and move his hand to Michael’s back to bring him even closer. The room all of a sudden felt hot so Luke was happy when Michael started pulling up the bottom of his sweatshirt urging him to take it off. He didn’t want to break the kiss but he did for a second just to take his sweatshirt and shirt underneath of it off and Michael watched his every move. Luke went back to kissing him a bit longer then laid down on his back on the bed and Michael smirked down at him as he began unbuttoning his pants. He let them drop to the floor then joined Luke on the bed and hovered over him on his hands and knees. He started kissing Luke a lot more fiercely this time then moved his lips down to Luke’s neck making Luke’s breathing pick up again as he gripped onto Michael’s bicep. He then started making his way down to Luke’s torso kissing ever inch of it and progressively getting lower until he was kissing just above the waist of his jeans. He started pulling down Luke’s jeans. When his jeans were off Michael went back to kissing Luke on the lips and palming his dick. This time Luke couldn’t help but let out a moan and Michael smiled into the kiss as he gripped harder on Luke’s dick. Luke was still in utter shock that this whole thing was happening and that Michael felt the same way he did. Maybe Michael wasn’t in love with Luke like Luke was with him but he was just taking anything Michael would give him and right now he felt as if Michael was giving him everything he'd ever wanted and more. All of a sudden Michael pulled down Luke’s boxers and Luke began to pull at Michael’s too just wanting to see it. Of course Luke had seen Michael’s dick before but never like this. Michael realized what he was doing then pulled his off too and went to grab Luke’s dick but then stopped "Is this okay?" Michael’s sudden voice made Luke want him even more and he closed his eyes as he quickly nodded. Michael first started kissing the inside of Luke’s thighs and that alone was enough to send him over the edge. He was already so close and Michael had hardly even touched his dick. Luke began to put his hands through Michael’s hair, not pulling on it, but just lightly rubbing his fingers through it. Luke’s legs started to shake as Michael put his hand around his dick slowly rubbing it up and down now making Luke a moaning mess. Michael couldn’t help but smile up at Luke as he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth as he gripped the sheets but he wanted to make Luke lose it even more. He licked the slit of Luke’s dick then began sucking on just the tip.

"f-fuck" Luke was breathing even heavier at the overwhelming amount of pleasure jolting through his whole body "Michael". Hearing Luke say his name like that went straight to Michael’s dick and he was so tempted to relieve himself a bit but still focused on making Luke feel good first. But he realized he needed to hear Luke’s voice again so he took his mouth off his dick and leaned up to start kissing Luke’s lips again but still kept the slow steady rhythm of his hand on his dick.

"Feel good?" Michael whispered against Luke’s lips. Luke just nodded not being able to even form words but that wasn’t enough for Michael "yeah? tell me...tell me how good it feels"

"So fucking good" Luke said as his eyes practically rolled back into his head "fuck I need your mouth on my dick again. please Michael" Michael gave him one more kiss then made himself comfortable between Michael’s legs again. This time he took the whole thing in his mouth at once making Luke gasp and grip hard onto Michael’s hair. He continued to go up and down in fast motion, each time taking Luke’s entire dick in his mouth and Luke all of a sudden wondered how he was so fucking perfect at this but tried not to think of Michael being with other people right now and the thought quickly went away when a warm feeling in his stomach began to form and he knew he was so close. "oh fuck Michael..I'm close” he tried to push Michael away but Michael only sucked even harder and gripped his hands around Luke’s thighs. Seconds later Luke came down Michael’s throat, Luke moaning loud and slowly whispering 'Michael' over and over. Michael swallowed every bit of it and licked his lips after he pulled off of him. Luke swore it was the hottest thing he'd ever seen then Michael rolled over and laid on his back focusing on his own dick and started pumping it in a fast motion. Luke was just frozen there with wide eyes being mesmerized for a few seconds then he sat up on his side pushing away Michael’s hand and began moving his own hand on Michael’s dick. He just began doing it in a way that he knew he liked and it seemed to please Michael because he began to breathe heavy and put his one hand on Luke’s back just needing to touch him. Luke sped up the pace then leaned down to start kissing down Michael’s stomach as he would occasionally use his tongue and he could taste the sweat on him.

"Lucas" Luke shivered and almost felt like he could come again just from Michael saying his name in that husky tone of his "I’m really close". Luke slowed down his hand movement just wanting Michael to enjoy it as long as possible. Luke looked up to see Michael’s face and his lips were slightly open and his hair was sticking to his sweaty forehead. God he looked so fucking beautiful. He wanted so badly to say that out loud but he just leaned forward and kissed him instead, needing to feel his lips again. Soon Michael was moaning into Luke’s mouth as he came all over his stomach. Luke leaned down to lick it up making Michael get goosebumps “Jesus, Luke” He moaned out then Michael was flipping them over so that he was on top again and he buried his face in Luke’s neck trying to catch his breath planting kisses all over it. Luke got butterflies when he felt Michael smile and Luke began caressing his back until he knew Michael was asleep and it didn’t take long. Luke on the other hand didn’t want to fall asleep. He wasn’t sure if he'd ever have Michael in his arms like this again and he never wanted it to end. He brought his other hand up to Michael’s hair and just let his lips sit against Michael’s temple while he looked out the window. The palm trees in the front yard started to move as the wind picked up and blew a breeze into his room. He got a chill and didn’t want Michael to get cold so he carefully, not wanting to wake him, grabbed the blanket and covered them with it. He felt so happy in this moment and even though he knew Michael was asleep he whispered an "I love you" in his ear right before letting his eyes shut.


	8. Chapter 8

Luke awoke with the sun shining on his face but the warmth of Michael on him completely gone. Memories of last night flooded into him and he got scared that Michael left. It was very unusual that Michael would ever wake up before Luke and sure even if he did Michael would just watch TV down in the living room and wait for Luke to wake up like he'd done in the past but last night something pretty big happened. He couldn’t help but think that maybe to Michael it was just some casual hook up and he would act as if it never happened. The thought of that made Luke sick to his stomach and maybe last night meant hardly anything to Michael. Maybe he would never be able to touch Michael like that ever again or hold him or kiss him. He rolled over just wishing he could go back to sleep but most of all he wished Michael was next to him. He put his boxers back on and jumped out of bed needing to see if Michael was still there. He couldn’t believe how quiet the house was and he decided that Michael had probably left and would never want to speak to him again. He'd done it to girls a million and one times so why was Luke any different? Luke kept his head down as he went into the kitchen and grabbed the orange juice out of the fridge.

"Morning" Luke nearly dropped the juice carton. Michael was just sitting on the stool with his arms on the counter and a bowl of cereal in front of him. He smiled and Luke tensed up.

"What...what're you doing up so early?"

'"Don’t know. Woke up practically starving to death" he did a crooked smile and Luke got chills " Guess last night’s activities really worked up an appetite" This time Luke really did choke on his juice and Michael tried to hide his laugh as he stood up from his stool. He lightly rubbed Luke’s arm as he put the bowl in the sink making Luke melt into the touch and want more. He began to realize that he always wanted more. Michael stood right in front of Luke and pecked his lips then moved down to kiss his neck where he had left a bruise last night, Luke hadn't even noticed it yet. "Did you sleep well?" Luke slowly blinked trying to take in this whole new side of Michael he never even thought he had in him. His face always looked so soft when he looked at Luke and his voice was so calming that he wanted him to just talk forever. Luke finally nodded after getting lost in Michael’s eyes...again. An overwhelming feeling of happiness came over him when he realized that Michael really did care about him. He could feel it and it gave him hope that maybe this would work out and Luke would get to actually be with him.

"Alright now go upstairs and get dressed. I'm still hungry and that shitty Mexican place down the street is calling my name" the nervous feeling that Luke had went away and he just laughed at the mere thought that Michael was probably the only person in the world who craved Mexican food at 10am. He knew he sure wasn’t but he'd go anywhere with Michael.

When he came out of the shower began looking through his drawers trying to find something to wear. All they were doing was getting something to eat but for some reason Luke couldn’t find anything that he liked. He finally found a pair of light colored jeans and he slipped them on but he was still short a shirt. He smacked his lips together which was what he always did when he was thinking about something then decided he only had one other option since all his shirts looked horrible to him at the moment. Luke made his way down the dimly lit hallway and turned into the bedroom totally trying to ignore the fact that he was in Ashton's room so he didn’t get all depressed and just focused on finding a shirt. He then looked to the right and seen a light blue button down shirt in Ashton's closet and instantly remembered the last time Ashton wore it. He about fell apart right then and there but he pushed the feelings aside and slipped the shirt on. He buttoned it all the way up until there were only two left unbuttoned so his necklace was showing a bit then he rolled both the sleeves up as he walked out of there as quickly as possible. Luke could finally breathe better once he was out in the hallway and making his way down the stairs. Michael was sitting on the edge of the couch looking down at his phone and Luke took this time to push back his hair and pulled up his jeans a bit.

"You ready?" Michael said still not looking up at him

"Mhm". Luke said happily. Michael walked past Luke then took a double look at him.

"You look good" Luke smiled then Michael’s charming look faded into a pained one "Is that um...is that Ashton's shirt?"

"Yeah I couldn’t find anything to wear so" Luke said shrugging

"That’s the shirt he wore to my 16th birthday" then Michael started laughing as he slipped on his shoes and Luke did the same "Remember I got so drunk that I made out with Calum? The fuck" Luke burrowed his eyebrows and tried to remember what he was talking about but he couldn’t

"No I must of...must of been somewhere else I don’t remember that" He knew he never would of cared before but now he felt a bit jealous that Calum got to kiss Michael before he did and was a bit offended that Calum never told him about it.

"Wait...Yeah I think that was when you and Ash ran up to the store to get me some chocolate cake" Luke did laugh at that remembering how Michael kept drunkenly leaning against him saying 'Lucas go get me some chocolate cake' while saying random French words.

"Jesus you were so wrecked that night" Luke said closing the passenger door and watching Michael as he put on his sunglasses and started the car.

"I didn’t get out of bed the whole next day and I remember calling all you guys saying I loved you cause I was so miserable I literally felt like my death was near" Michael began playing with a thread on his jeans as the other hand stayed on the steering wheel and he backed out of the driveway. Luke kind of felt like a creep always watching Michael’s every move but there was something so fascinating about him that Luke couldn’t put his finger on. Maybe it was the way he was just always so relaxed.

  
When they got to the Mexican food shack Michael ordered what he always ordered literally every time they went there which was an enchilada that was about as big as his face and an orange soda. All Luke felt like eating was a basket of fries. He really wasn’t that big on Mexican food, at least not like Michael was. They sat at the table outside that was under an umbrella. Michael looked out into the ocean with his sunglasses still on as he would alternate between taking a bite of his food and drinking his soda. Luke began to wish that Michael looked at him as much as he looked at the ocean. He was so in love with watching the waves or watching how still the water was. If the ocean was there you can bet that Michael was looking at it. Michael was actually the person who taught Luke how to surf when they were about 10 years old. Luke was always at the beach and Michael practically lived in the water so he would see him surfing all the time. One time Luke finally got up the courage to ask him to teach him and Michael agreed a lot faster than Luke thought he would. Michael had been doing it since he was 7 but Luke always did wonder who taught him. Maybe it was a sensitive topic and that’s the reason Michael never told him but Luke was still curious about it.

"Who taught you how to surf?" Michael was taken a bit off guard but he took a sip of his soda then smiled

"What made you think of that?"

"I was just thinking about when you taught me to surf and I realized I didn’t know who taught you" Michael nodded then looked lost in thought for a second

"Nobody did" Luke felt a little pained just because of the look on Michael’s face and Michael could tell he was “It’s alright. Some things are better if you figure them out for yourself you know? And I just hated being at home so much I thought that surfing could take me away from everything going on there and it did. Maybe I wouldn’t be such a kick ass surfer if it wasn’t for learning it by myself" Luke laughed cause of coarse Michael would turn this into bragging about himself. But he loved how confident Michael was, he really did. It made Luke more confident in himself whenever he was around him.

“How long did it take you to learn?"

“A while. Probably took me a good six months until I could even stand up on my board. I fell a lot. I almost drowned to death a few times. I just wanted to be able to surf like those guys on TV and it was tough but I did it" a big smile crept across his face and Luke leaned forward a bit wanting to kiss him but held back forgetting they were in public " I'm especially glad I learned cause If I wouldn’t of maybe we wouldn’t have ever became friends" Luke felt his cheeks heating up and looked down to try and hide it

"You were so patient with me. I can’t even thank you enough times for teaching me Michael". Michael took two more bites of his enchilada, finishing it off

"I'm a patient guy and I wanted you to learn because I needed someone to surf with. Plus just in case I started drowning I would need someone to save my ass"

"Hopefully I won’t ever have to do that" Luke smiled but it was a thought that really scared him.

"Why? Don’t think you could do it?" Michael aid joking around and taking his sunglasses off

"No I could do it. I'd let myself drown before I let you. I just don’t want to think about that ever happening". Luke looked up to see Michael looking his face up and down. Luke doesn’t think he’d ever seen Michael look so serious because his face always looked like it was on the verge of a smile no matter what.

"Well then I take back what I said. I wouldn’t want you to save my life if it meant risking yours"

"I couldn’t just let you drown Michael. Saving you would be like a reflex ...I'd just do it without even thinking twice". Michael looked like he was going to fall apart any minute. He felt so lucky to have Luke and couldn’t believe how good Luke was to him. He smiled to try and stop the mushy feelings going on in his head since he had never felt so overtaken by someone in his entire life. He didn’t know how to handle these types of feelings if he was honest.

"If anything I'll have to die someday to save your ass and I would in second" Michael actually didn’t mean to say that out loud but he was glad he did when he seen the smile on Luke’s face. It gave him chills and all he wanted was to have Luke back in his room all to himself, not even thinking about the sexual stuff, but just to hold him and kiss him. He wished he would have done more of that last night. Them staring at each other was interrupted by Michael’s phone ringing and Luke knew it was Calum by the way Michael rolled his eyes "yeah" he said in a bored tone "Were at the Food shack on Rolland St." he took a sip of his drink "What is there a designated time to eat Mexican food?..." Luke quietly laughed "Fine whatever but lose that negative attitude before you get here" he hung up after that "Calum is coming here" he took a double look at Luke "Whats so funny Luke?" he said stealing a couple of his fries

"Nothing. I can’t even believe Calum is awake already though"

"Me either. Lazy fucking bum"

When Calum got there he sat in the middle of them and grabbed Luke’s fries claiming them as his own without even asking. Luke actually didn’t mind because he was never that hungry to begin with but Michael was a different story.

"Calum. Did Luke say you could have his fries?" he said using a proper tone

"Well no" he said casually with his mouth full "But he looked like he was done with them-Woah! Luke" Luke jumped

"What?" he said seeing the way Calum was looking at him.

"You're neck man that’s what! Were you attacked by a damn shark?" Luke began feeling his neck becoming very confused about what he was talking about and looked up to see Michael trying to hide his big smile by chewing on his straw. Luke finally got his phone out and used his front camera to look at his neck. He realized what Calum was freaking out about when he seen 3 black bruises. One under his right ear, one right on his adams apple and the other at the base of his neck almost touching his chest. He once again tried to hide his blushing cheeks as he looked up at Michael who just smiled and shrugged not saying a word "So?" Calum said still confused "What the fuck happened last night huh? Who’s the lucky girl?" Luke flinched a little when he said girl. Sure Calum knew that Luke liked Michael but he didn’t know that Michael liked him back and he didn’t know if Michael even wanted him to know what happened.

"I gave em them" Michael said casually as he took some more fries. Luke was actually glad Michael said something because he didn’t have a fucking clue how to handle this. Calum died laughing.

"That’s funny Michael...but no really. Who did that to you Luke?" Luke again looked over at Michael and Calum’s face went completely still "You guys really being serious?" Michael and Luke both nodded "Well shit. Feel good to get if off your chest aye Luke?" Luke didn’t know why he felt embarrassed but maybe it was the way Michael had began fucking serenading him with his eyes. Luke tried to look away because it was driving him insane. He wanted to kiss him so badly but knew he couldn’t.

"Let’s go swimming" Luke said quickly. Michael grinned in a way that made Luke shiver then he nodded in agreement


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm adding two chapters today because sadly I won't be able to update for a week or two :( hope you guys like it!

It was a perfect day for the beach as usual but it had been a while since just the 3 of them went swimming. Calum couldn’t surf so he never came out with Michael and Luke when they did that but he loved the water just as much as they did. When they were kids they would always meet at the music shop that was about the halfway mark between Michael and Calum’s houses. Since Luke and Ashton's house was closer to the beach they had a longer walk but they never minded. They would always have to go into the music shop too because Ashton was saving up for a drum kit and felt the need to look at it practically every day. He was so happy when he finally saved up enough money when he was about 13 but Luke wasn’t as thrilled about it. For the longest time Ash would stay up basically all night to play it, making it very hard for Luke to sleep. He ended up staying the night as Michael’s house more than his own. After the music shop they would always head to the beach. Most of the time Michael and Luke would surf while Ashton and Calum would build sand castles just to destroy them or go skate at the bowl that was right next to the beach.  
Luke and Michael both looked to their right as the three of them just kicked their feet to stay above the water.

"He's not getting enough speed" Michael said talking about one of the surfers off in the distance

"What an amateur" Luke teased. Michael let out a laugh and they both decided to just be total critics of everything this kid did

"Look at his ugly ass shorts."

"He thinks he's hot shit too. Look at him." the boy started talking and Michael began to talk in that stereotypical way that everyone thinks surfers talk.

"Yeah bro look at this knarly wave. I'm so gonna demolish this wave" Luke started to lose it completely from laughing so hard "Yeah I fucking nailed that wave. I was born for this"

"He has a cool board" Calulm said from behind them. Quite honestly they had forgotten he was even with them

"You ruined it" Michael aid coldly right before he went under water.

"This whole 3rd wheel thing fucking sucks. You know we need to add another person to the crew someone who-MICHAEL WHAT THE FUCK" Michael popped out of the water seconds later in front of Calum shaking his wet hair right in his face "What the hell man don’t go grabbing my legs and shit, there are sharks in these waters"

"If I was a shark you would have been instantly pulled underwater"

"Whatever you-" Michael dove back under water and Calum tried to swim backwards a bit but Michael grabbed his legs and pulled him all the way underwater with him then came up before Calum did. Calum then came up a little out of breath.

"That’s what a shark attack would feel like Calum". Calum rolled his eyes but all Luke had on his face was fond for Michael. He loved Michael’s playful side so much. He loved Michael so much.

"Like I was saying before I think we need to add a 4th person to the group". Luke started to swim so he could be near them and floated right next to Michael "I'm so sick of being the 3rd wheel all the time plus it’s even worse since you guys surf and I don’t and I need someone who will go skateboarding with me like Ash did" They all kind of zoned out a bit at the mention of his name and it was making Michael uncomfortable

"What so we should just start interviewing guys to see if they are worthy of being our friend?" Michael said trying to make Calum sound stupid but Calum just got a smile on his face

"Exactly. That’s exactly what we should do"

"No. I mean if you like him then that means he'll be just like you and I can’t handle dealing with two of you Calum"

"Well I like Lukey-"

"Yeah but Luke is nothing like you"

"That’s a bit offensive Michael I think me and Luke have a lot in common “Calum said in his matter of fact voice. Luke put his bottom lip up like he was pouting and began to nod trying to make Calum feel better "Not as much as you guys do but were not that different"

"Yeah you are" Michael said in a bored tone looking back at the surfers again and just trying to get under Calum’s skin. Calum was getting flustered and Michael noticed "Alright alright we'll get you a friend but ONLY so you don’t steal Lucas away from me out of loneliness" Luke’s whole face lit up as he looked at Michael. For one Michael called him "Lucas" and it’s obvious how much Luke loved that and two Michael just said he didn’t like sharing Luke and wanted him all to himself. It was the sweetest thing he had ever heard.

"My god Luke" Calum said making Luke jump from being so focused on Michael "That lovey dovey look you’ve got on your face right now is making me sick. Please save the Michael kisses for later" Luke’s face went red as he stared at the water then Michael’s look on his face got just as lovey dovey as he looked over at embarrassed Luke. Luke glanced up at him and one of Michael’s contagious smiles spread across his face making Luke get lost in his eyes for about the hundredth time today.

"You two lovebirds are unbelievable and we've been swimming literally all day like its getting dark out. I’m going back home"

"It’s about damn time" Michael whined. Luke lightly hit him on the arm

"See ya Cal"

"Don’t let the sharks eat ya!" Michael yelled out to him and he wished he had a surf board to lean on cause his legs were starting to get tired. "Hey how about you come over to my house tonight? My mom’s gone for the whole weekend". Luke loved the idea of that. 

"Yeah. Let’s do that"

"And I don’t know about you but my legs are killing me” Luke chuckled in agreement.

"Yeah mine too. Lets head back" and they both ended up catching up to Calum as they all swam up to the shore together

Michael's room was quite a bit bigger than his and had ceiling to floor windows covering two of his walls. He had sheer light blue curtains on the two windows by his bed. The other walls were filled with posters; mostly heavy rock ones and then a big map of Australia. Michael had dreamed of going to Australia ever since Luke could remember and he used to talk about it constantly. There were a lot more pins on the map now and they marked the places Michael wanted to go most. Basically the whole east coast was filled with pins and Luke wished he could take him to all those places.

"The Gold Coast" Michael said pointing to a spot on the map and now standing close to Luke "That’s where I'd want to go and the surfing over there is fucking amazing"

"You'll get to go there someday Mikey" Michael playfully bumped into him and pat him on the back

"But of course" Michael went over to his bed and sat against the headboard with this knees up "You'd have to come with me. What would I do without my partner in crime?" There he went again; saying how much he needed Luke around and Luke got this warm feeling in his chest every time he did. Michael patted the bed wanting Luke to lay by him and the nervousness in Luke set in. Michael was just so amazing and Luke was scared he would do something stupid but before he knew it he was going over to the other side of the bed and he instantly let his head fall against Michael’s arm wanting Michael to cuddle into him and he did right after he turned off the TV. He sunk down in the bed and put his arm around him and Luke got closer so he could rest his head on Michael’s chest as he put his hand underneath Michael’s shirt just needing to touch his skin. Michael closed his eyes for a bit as Luke’s comforting touch about put him to sleep but he didn’t want to sleep yet so he forced his eyes open. Luke on the other hand was wide awake and just wanted to kiss Michael and was contemplating on for once making the first move. But he just put his face into Michael’s chest and smiled thinking about last night "Hey" Michael said shaking him a bit

"mhm?"

"You've had that cheeky grin on your face all day" Michael said as he subconsciously ran his fingers up and down Luke’s spine which made Luke smile even more

"Today was just a really good day and last night..." He got up on one of his elbows so that his face was right above Michael’s. For some reason Michael looked so small to him in this moment. "You're amazing Michael" Michael started to move his eyes over Luke’s face in a fast motion and moved his hand up to Luke’s head and began to rub his fingers through his still damp hair. He was just speechless. Luke finally got the guts to lean down and kiss him and Michael let him lead then began sucking on his lower lip a bit. Michael then started to run his tongue against Luke’s lip and Luke opened up letting him in. They kissed until they could hardly breathe then Luke let himself fall onto Michael and relaxed his head on his shoulder. Michael held him tighter than he had ever before and Luke felt so safe and just never wanted him to let him go. He moved his one hand on Luke’s head stroking his hair and lightly kissing the top of his head while the other hand rested flat on his back

"I’ve missed you so much" Michael said almost too quiet for Luke to hear and Luke began kissing his neck. 'I love you so much' was all that was going through Luke’s head and he knew if he even opened his mouth that those words would be the only thing spilling out. But he wanted Michael to know how much he missed him too so he held him tighter and he slid down a bit so he could start kissing his stomach. Luke realized this was a thing he would do a lot more often. Michael’s stomach was so soft and Luke loved having his lips on it. Not to mention that he could tell Michael was loving it too because of the way his stomach moving up and down in a faster motion. Luke did this until he was too tired to hold his head up then he laid his head down. Luke was just about to fall asleep until he heard Michael’s voice "Luke?" Luke instantly sat himself up on his elbow and brought himself closer up to him when Michael sounded a bit off

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I just-" he took a deep breath and Luke rubbed his thumb against Michael’s side, knowing that he was struggling a bit "I just don’t want this to end. Me and you. Like I know you've seen me have these little flings with all these different people but I just want you to know that you're different Luke and I need you to know that I would never hurt you. You mean so much to me" Luke didn’t even realize that he was crying until Michael was reaching up and wiping a tear from his face

"Why are you crying?" he said with a deeply concerned voice and Luke needed him to know that they weren’t sad tears, not even close.

"You just make me so happy. Sometimes It doesn’t even feel like all this is real and I can’t even believe you're real cause you're so fucking perfect". Michael closed his eyes for a brief second then flexed his jaw. It was the closest he’s ever seen to Michael crying.

"I'm not perfect Luke. You are"

"No you are" Luke said in a childish tone that made Michael laugh and brush the back of his hand on Luke’s cheek

"Kiss me". Luke smiled so big he felt like his cheeks were burning or maybe that was from blushing so hard. He put his thumb and lightly rubbed it across Michael’s cheek and Michael closed his eyes as he leaned into Luke’s hand and Luke kissed him harder than ever getting a quiet moan out of Michael. Luke fell asleep before Michael but he continued to kiss Luke on the cheek until he fell asleep too.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK AND WITH ANOTHER UPDATE WOO! hope you like it guys <3

It was an amazing feeling when Luke woke up and Michael was lying on his side with his head under Luke’s chin and an arm wrapped around Luke’s waist. Luke couldn’t help himself as started rubbing his hand up and down Michael’s side and knew Michael was awake too when he started to get goosebumps on his stomach. All he did was scoot up a bit so he could nuzzle into Luke’s neck and made a quiet "mhm" sound. Luke could swear it was the cutest sound he's ever heard and he loved sleepy Michael. Luke could feel Michael’s hot breath against him and it seemed like he was about to say something

"Remember that time we snuck into the school pool at like midnight?" his voice was a bit muffled from his face still being tucked into Luke’s neck but Luke nodded "I had a dream about that except in the dream we ended up getting caught then principle Reynolds tried to kill me" they both let out a laugh and Luke was just now realizing how sexy Michael’s morning voice was. His normally deep voice would crack when he said certain words almost sounding like he was sick "How fucked is that?"

"Very. I was actually really scared about getting caught that night but.." Luke paused trying to think "There was someone else with us wasn’t there? Like I mean it was you,me,Ash and someone else. But it wasn’t Calum because he was out of state that weekend". Michael sat up on his elbows and Luke watched him squinting a bit from the sun coming in.

"Yeah. No it wasn’t Calum..”he said drifting off "Shit was it Seth McCarthy?". Luke pointed at him and smiled

"Seth McCarthy" he said in the voice they would always use whenever they seen him, dragging it out.

"Why did we ever stop hanging out with him?" Luke was trying to rack his brain again remembering how cool Seth was so he had no idea why they would just stop wanting him around then his smile faded a bit

"Oh I remember. He hooked up with Ashton’s girlfriend at some party. Shit I remember Ash was furious"

"Yup. That would be it. He was a funny son of a bitch though" He turned around and grabbed his phone and Luke already wanted him to cuddle with him again "I wonder.." he started pressing buttons on his phone "I wonder if I still have his number"

"You gonna call him?" Luke said yawning

"Yeah I mean none of us have any girlfriends for him to steal so.." he shrugged "Why not?". Luke chuckled and Michael looked up at him and smiled "But if he tries to steal you I'll have to kick his ass" Luke's face got warm and he wrapped his arm around Michael’s neck making him lay down so he could lay on his chest. Michael lightly kissed his head once Luke was comfortable and drew circles on his back with his fingers "Found it" he pressed call then put it on speaker so Luke could hear. It rang three times then they heard a voice on the other end

"Hello?"

"Seth. It’s Michael Clifford". Seth started doing this excited laugh that slowly turned into a high pitched scream and Luke buried his face in Michael’s pillow to stop from laughing too.

"Michael what the fuck! When did you get back bro?"

"A Little over a week ago. You still living around here?"

"Hell yeah man Hell yeah. It’s been too long Clifford we gotta chill"

"Yeah. Yeah that’s what I was calling for. How about you swing by today and we can catch up. I’ve got Luke here it'll be good". Seth did one of his high pitched screams again and Michael widened his eyes a bit

"Fucking Luke.. that sexy mother fucker. Damn I've missed you guys. Alright I'll be over in a bit"

"Alright cool man. Later" he hung up the phone and set it back on the end table "Jesus that kids got a lot of energy. Now come're you sexy mother fucker". Luke laughed into the kiss as Michael made him roll onto his back. He kissed him on his neck right below his ear then just barely letting his lips touch Luke’s neck, teasing him with his hot breath. He began kissing along Luke’s jaw making Luke get chills. He kissed him on the lips once more then sat up "We better get ready Lukey". Michael took a shower first then Luke did. They wanted to take one together but decided that if they did that they would probably end up staying in there for hours and now was not the time for that. Luke came out of the bathroom wearing only a towel then grabbed his briefs and jeans and slipped them on. He went to go pick up his shirt, well Ashton’s shirt, and realized it was still wet from when Calum splashed him down at the beach so he walked over to Michael’s dresser and started to look for a shirt. He just grabbed the first black one he seen then slipped it on. When looking in the mirror to fix his hair he realized it was one of their school shirts. It read "Santa Cruz Warriors" then it said "Clifford” on the back. He of course took a smell of it first and he didn’t think he would ever get over how intoxicating Michael’s smell was. It was so comforting to him. Then Luke ran down the stairs instantly getting a smell of fresh ocean breeze and some type of flower. A bunch of the windows were open and Michael’s mom had flowers all over the place. Luke grabbed a bowl of cereal then joined Michael in the living room as he slumped into the couch; he had on some motocross race then took a double look at Luke.

"Oh I borrowed your shirt...mine was wet so" Michael stared at him just taking him in for a second then went back to eating his cereal

"How do you look so hot in everything?" Michael said casually still looking down at his cereal. Luke smiled as wide as he could then shook his head unsure of what to sat to that "You could be wearing a clown suit and I'd still wanna fuck you". Luke laughed and tried to hurry up and swallow his cereal. Just the mere thought of having Michael inside him made Luke just about get a hard on and he had to close his eyes for a second and shift in his seat to stop himself from actually getting one then Luke jumped a little when Michael mumbled a "Soon Lukey boy" and winked at him.

"What?" Luke said trying to act dumb

"It’s written all over your face that you were just thinking about it". Luke rolled his eyes and mumbled 'damn it" and got up. Michael thought to himself that if Seth wasn’t coming over he'd take Luke upstairs right that minute but he kept that to himself since it was probably better that he didn’t tease Luke anymore plus he'd want to even more if he heard himself say it out loud. Just then there was a knock on the door and Michael got up to go answer it as Luke was still in the kitchen getting a glass of water.

"Michael fucking Clifford" Seth said just a grinning like he always was. Seth pulled him into a hug before Michael could say anything and Michael gave him two pats on the back "Shit dude you been working out?" he said letting him go and grabbing one of Michael arms.

"Just surfin'" he said quietly. "How ya been?" he said now walking away as Seth followed

"Well not surfing. I broke my leg a few months back and just haven’t been able to get back out in the water"

"How'd that happen?"

"I kind of drunkenly fell down the stairs"

"Been there" Michael aid before downing the rest of his soda

"Oh I bet you have bud" he said laughing. Luke started coming up behind Seth right then and ruffled his hair before standing in front of him "Luke?" Luke nodded before sitting down next to Michael and Seth still had a shocked look on his face like he just seen a ghost "Jesus Christ you look good. Is it hot in here all of a sudden? He said loosening his collar and Luke couldn’t stop laughing. Meanwhile Michael was just raising his eyebrows and forcing a smile at Seth’s comment.

"You still got that 250 Honda?" Luke finally said after calming down

"Yeah. I do. You loved that bike didn’t you Luke?"

"It's a nice bike yeah. You almost sold it to me one time". Seth leaned back and let out a little giggle

"No you tried to talk me into selling it to you Lukey. You little con artist. But I haven’t gotten to ride it in a long time. Like I was just telling Michael I broke my leg so I haven’t done shit lately". They all talked about surfing for the longest time then Michael brought up some party they went to a long time ago and after they started talking about that Luke felt pretty left out. Luke was the never the party type and back when Michael was getting drunk basically every night was a rough time for them. Michael would come stumbling into Luke’s room at usually about 4am, if he even made it home at all, and they had limited time together because Michael would sleep until about 3pm the next day then head out to another party an hour or 2 later. The summer after 9th grade was Michael’s "amnesia summer" Luke called it because he'd get so wasted every night that he'd wake up not even remembering what happened. Luke never told Michael but he felt like he lost his best friend that summer and he got a little sad thinking about that. Michael nudged him trying to get him to laugh and Luke did a fake smile pretending he even had a clue what they were talking about. Michael knew something was wrong. He could always tell so he just stared at him while Seth was still talking away. Luke gave him a little smile just so Michael knew he was okay and Michael patted him on the leg before turning back to Seth but it was still bothering him.

*

"I wish I was a mermaid. Michael tell me I'm a mermaid!" It was 2am and Seth was more wasted than any of them. Luke had one beer and already decided he was done and Michael was a little more than buzzed

"If you're a mermaid I'm a mermaid Seth" Michael lazily said back, raising his beer in the air. They all died laughing at the cheesy movie reference and Seth dove into the pool purposely splashing Michael and Luke who were both sitting on the outdoor couch with their feet up on a cooler.

“The Notebook” Luke said with confidence and Michael gave his arm a squeeze

“Not fair that was an easy one” He mumbled and Luke shook his head hiding his smile.

"Michael you romantic fuck. I love you guys" Seth said slurring his words as he jumped out of the pool. He grabbed a towel and attempted to dry off his hair then fell in a lawn chair across from Michael and Luke "And you know what" he grabbed another beer then rose it in the air "To Ashton. The best skateboarder I've ever known and the life of the party. He was a hell of a man" Michael raised his beer in the air too and cleared his throat

"To Ash" Luke just sat in silence not knowing what to do since he didn’t have a beer in his hand and didn’t plan on having another. He was feeling a bit down in the dumps now that Ashton’s name was brought up and he wished he could cuddle into Michael right now. That always made him feel better so instead he just got closer to him and made sure their legs were touching. Luke was a bit surprised when Michael put one arm around him and leaned into him "You alright?" he said just a bit louder than a whisper while rubbing Luke’s arm and Luke began to get tired. Michael had a way of always making him more relaxed and then he would become sleepy. Luke nodded finally looking up at Michael and all he wanted to do was have Michael all to himself "We'll go upstairs in a bit Lukey" this time he didn’t whisper at all but it wouldn’t of mattered anyways, Seth was zonening out at something down on the ground.  
Michael called someone up to come get Seth since there was no way he should be behind the wheel and Luke was upstairs in his bedroom looking at all these old pictures that he had up on his wall. Luke jumped when Michael appeared behind him putting both of his hands on the wall behind Luke like it was the only thing holding him up. He started to kiss Luke’s neck until he turned around

"Hi" Michael said with lazy eyes, his voice sounding deeper than usual and his eyes glowing

"How do you do that?"

“Hmm?"

"By the pool when you said we would go upstairs soon I was just thinking of how I wanted to be alone with you before you said that. It’s like you can read my mind"

"I can. It’s one of my superpowers". Luke smiled and quickly looked down

"You know you're pretty sexy when you're drunk". Michael did a crooked smile and still kept his hands on the wall

"Im-Im not drunk"

"That’s exactly what drunken people say" Michael looked out the window realizing he was probably right, the smile not leaving his face

"So what do you wanna do to me now that you have me all to yourself?" he said getting closer making Luke’s heartbeat speed up. He could only think of one thing that he knew he'd wanted to do ever since that first night they kissed

"I wanna suck your dick". Michael’s eyes widened and he never expected Luke to be so forward. He also couldn’t believe how fast he sobered up after he heard Luke say that.

"Shit Luke..yeah. Yeah be my guest". They both stripped down to just their boxers and Michael laid down. Luke hovered over him just looking his body up and down for a few seconds knowing that he could do whatever he wanted to him and not knowing where to start because it was so overwhelming. His arms were the perfect size and his pale skin almost glowed. He swore Michael had the most gorgeous body he'd ever seen. Luke zoned back into reality when Michael started running his hand up Luke’s thigh and for once Luke decided to actually say what he was thinking out loud.

"You're so beautiful" He didn’t know why he whispered but it just felt right. Michael instantly pulled him down into a kiss and Luke put his tongue in Michael’s mouth first and just put it everywhere. He then started rubbing his hand up and down Michael’s stomach. He kissed Michael’s chest a few times then for some reason remembered a long time ago that Michael said he had really sensitive nipples and grinned before touching his lips to one of them. He just sucked on it for a little while making Michael grip his thighs harder and start breathing out of his mouth. Luke started to grind against Michael making their dicks rub together earning a moan out of him as he bit softly at his nipple at the same time.

"Luke" he put his hand through Luke’s hair and whined out of sexual frustration “You’re killing me here" Luke laughed a little and took that as a sign to start working on Michael’s dick. So he started to take off Michael’s boxers and when he seen his dick he moaned quietly and bit his lip from how turned on he was. He wanted it in his mouth so bad but he was still a bit nervous

"I've never...you know" and Michael nodded and gave him a smile.

"Just take it slow Luke. You'll do fine". Luke took the tip in his mouth and began to move his tongue around it. Michael put his hands through Luke’s hair again and rubbed his fingers down Luke’s face just admiring him. Luke then put his hand at the base of it and put his mouth around the rest of it, moving both his hand and mouth at the same rhythm and speeding up the pace

"F-fuck. Just..just like that baby". Luke’s eyes shot open. Michael had never called him baby and he loved the sound of it so much. He took even more of Michael’s dick in his mouth just about making himself gag but it was worth it to hear more of the sounds that Michael was making. He loved having Michael fall apart because of him and being the person making him feel so good that he was gripping the sheets and Luke himself was getting incredibly hard but he still focused entirely on Michael. Michael began to moan even louder saying "fuck" over and over through clenched teeth as Luke started to take one of Michael’s balls in between his fingers still keeping a fast pace with this mouth. Then Luke looked up to see Michael leaning his head back and closing his eyes."Luke I’m gonna come.." Luke hummed sending a vibration through his dick making Michael arch his back and come down Luke’s throat. Even though it was a lot Luke swallowed every bit of it wanting to taste Michael as much as he could. Luke collapsed and laid his head against the inside of Michael’s thigh closing his eyes for a second then realizing how much his own dick needed relieved. He used all his strength to get on his hands and knees then began pumping himself. Michael sat up and began kissing him fiercely then sucking on a spot on Luke’s shoulder and that’s all it took to send Luke over the edge. Michael was planning on touching Luke’s dick for him but realized he didn’t need to when Luke was coming all over his stomach. Michael laid back down still having a hold on Luke’s thighs and pulled him closer and Luke laid on top of him "Lucas you did so good" Michael said still out of breath and Luke gave him one more kiss then they were both passed out almost instantly. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of feelings, some angst, cuddles, cute kisses and smut...yeah this chapter has it all. Hope you like it!

It was late in the evening when Luke ran up to go pick up the pizza and when Luke asked Michael to come with him Calum quickly said that he wanted Michael to stay with him because his house creeped him out. Michael knew that really wasn’t the case but just stayed quiet and figured Calum wanted to talk to him about something

"So my house creeps you out does it?" Michael teased

"No Michael. I just wanted to talk to you about something"

"Alright" he said leaning against the kitchen counter "Let’s hear it"

"It’s about you and Luke" Michael rolled his eyes knowing that Calum overreacted about everything "Like I don’t know what the hell you guys even have going on but Luke isn’t some guy you can just fuck a couple times and just be done with him and I’m not say-"

"Are you fucking kidding me? Are you so deluded in the head that you actually think I would do something like that to him?" Michael was talking in a quiet tone to try and keep himself from totally losing it on him.

"No Im not saying-"

"Like you know I get it Calum. I do. You think I’m a total piece of shit and maybe I am but for you to think that I would actually just use Luke like that and then throw him away like he’s nothing is really fucked up when you know damn right that Luke has always meant more to me than anyone has". Calum just stared at the floor not even able to meet Michael’s eyes because of how terrible he felt for letting it come out like that

"You're right. I'm-I’m sorry Michael. I know you'd never do that to him I just don’t want you to hurt him again" he finally looked up at Michael "Luke just really loves you okay? Like he’s legitimately in love with you Michael and if you ever hurt him again I know he would never recover from it". Michael’s soft face went away and he began to get angry again.

"And just when did I hurt him the first time Calum?" Calum let out a breath and put his elbows down on the counter

"When you just fucking left after Ashton died" he was talking so quietly because he could barely even say the words "Do you honestly not see how much that affected him?" Michael opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. Calum sat on the stool and closed his eyes trying to prepare himself for what he was going to say next "I didn’t want to have to tell you this but a few days after you left he was just" Calum was about falling apart just from picturing that night again and remembering how Luke looked and Michael reached out wanting to comfort him but then stepped back again "He was just wrecked Mikey. He was up in his bedroom crying so hard and he wouldn’t let me in but I could hear him from out in the hall and I swear to you it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through just hearing him in there like that and not being able to even attempt to help him" Michael leaned against the wall behind him feeling like his legs were about to give out.

"I don’t..I don’t want to hear this" he said as he kept looking down and closing his eyes trying to stop the tears

"He finally let me in and he was curled up in a ball underneath his blankets with his arms around himself almost as if he was trying to comfort himself so I just sat on the bed next to him. His face was beat red, his eyes all puffy. I’ve never seen anything like it so I went to go touch him and he was ice cold like I was literally thinking about taking him to the hospital"

"Please stop" Michael whispered knowing he couldn’t hear any more of it but Calum continued

"He finally spoke and he says ‘Why did he leave me?’. Honestly I just assumed he was talking about Ashton. So I said ‘I don’t know Lukey...I guess it was just his time’ and he started shaking his head really fast then the tears started to come and he said ‘No.Why did Mikey leave me? I need him, Calum’ then he was a crying mess again like he was when I was out in the hall. How the hell was I supposed to answer that? I couldn’t because I don’t know why the fuck you left Michael. Nobody did". Calum began to feel really bad about getting mad towards the end when he seen that Michael was actually crying. He had never seen Michael cry in his entire time knowing him and it seemed so unnatural "Shit Michael...I'm sorry" then it hit him. He knew why Michael had to leave "You left...You left because you knew you couldn’t handle seeing Luke so hurt. Didn’t you?" Michael slowly nodded and another tear ran down his face. He was still looking down at the floor.

"But I still should have been here" his voice sounding so rough and Calum knew it was hurting him to talk "You're right I shouldn’t of left. It was so selfish of me and I should have been here when he needed me. I wanted to come back the very next day trust me I did" Michael finally looked up as his eyes started to get wet again

"And I know I don’t deserve him but I need him too, just as much as he needs me .He’s the only person who’s ever felt right"

"You're right. You don’t deserve him after what you did but you’re the only person he wants to be with and I know you feel the same way about him"

"I do" Michael said looking down and nodding. He was trying to get himself back together since he knew Luke would be coming back soon.

When Luke got back he basically danced into the living room with the pizza resting on his right palm

“The pizza has arrived” he said in his bad attempt at an Italian accent

“Gimmie gimmie” Calum said leaping off the couch towards Luke. Luke and Calum both took a slice then Luke set the pizza on the coffee table right in front of Michael who had his head tilted back looking at the ceiling. Michael had been sulking every since the conversation with Calum. It made him feel even worse about leaving Luke after knowing how much it really affected him. Luke continued to look down at Michael not wanting to pry but also wondering why he hadn’t taken a slice of pizza yet. If Michael didn’t want to eat pizza then there was something seriously wrong.

“Michael...there’s food right there...and you’re not eating it” Luke said with a chuckle but Michael couldn’t bring himself to smile

“I’m not hungry I-I just feel a little sick that’s all. Maybe it was that Mexican food” Luke opened his mouth but then Calum began to speak with food in his mouth

“You really need to stop eating that shit Michael” Michael shot Calum a glare that made Luke step back a little. It pissed Michael off the way that Calum was acting as if he wasn’t partially responsible for the way he was feeling. If Calum wouldn’t have ever had that pointless talk with him then Michael wouldn’t have felt so shitty. Then Michael noticed the worried look on Luke’s face and he bit his lip to hide the scowl he was giving Calum.

“Luke” He said patting the couch wanting him to sit down. Luke did but he of course noticed how broken Michael sounded. Michael shifted closer to Luke wanting to have some sort of contact then he sneakily put his hand against Luke’s and rubbed his thumb against his fingers. Luke now knew for sure Michael was in desperate need of some comforting. Luke quickly glanced at Calum to see he was completely turned away from them, chowing down on his pizza and laughing at something on TV then Luke focused on Michael who was leaning his head on the back of the couch again. Luke then snaked his arm around him and began to run his hand through his hair and watched as Michael’s eyes closed and he actually looked relaxed for the first time since Luke came back

“Are you okay?” Luke whispered as his forehead was now resting against Michael’s temple and his hot breath gave Michael chills

“I’m fine” Michael tried to sound as convincing as he could so Luke wouldn’t worry anymore “Just happy you’re here” Luke smiled and let his lips linger on Michael’s neck for a little while after giving it a quick peck.  
Calum insisted that they all watch some movie about aliens that he heard was a “cinematic masterpiece” but if Luke was honest he found it incredibly boring and even if it would have been interesting he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about what could be wrong with Michael. Michael would randomly rub his face against Luke’s arm or lean up and kiss his cheek and it made Luke’s stomach get butterflies. You’d think that Michael was doing these things to comfort Luke but really he was doing them to comfort himself. It was a way of reminding himself that even though he did a shitty thing leaving him, Luke was still his and he really hoped Luke knew he much he loved him. When Michael didn’t do either of these things for a while, Luke noticed and looked down to see Michael asleep with his head on his shoulder. Luke couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as he watched Michael look so peaceful as his breathing was slightly sped up than usual. The credits on the movie began to roll and Luke watched Calum as he stood up and stretched his arms over his head then his eyes went straight to Michael and grinned

“Well isn’t that cute” Calum said getting closer but keeping his voice down “You know...I’ve seen a whole new side of Michael since you guys started this thing” Luke nodded

“Me too. But I think maybe he had it in him the whole time” He lightly rubbed Michael’s thigh as he stuck up for him

“Maybe” Calum said with a smirk “I’m heading home though Lukey. You guys have fun” he said as he walked toward the door. Luke watched him open the door then quietly close it then he let out a breath and looked back down at Michael still fast asleep. Luke brought his hand up to Michael’s forehead as he gently wiped the hair from his face then let his hand trail down to his cheek, just admiring his features. He loved how strong his jaw line was and his cute little nose. He lightly kissed the spot right next to his eye. He was trying to wake him up in the nicest way possible cause he doubted that Michael wanted to sleep sitting up.

“Mikey” Luke whispered with his lips still against Michael’s face. He then rubbed his shoulder a bit “Hey Michael”

“Hmm?” and Luke closed his eyes overwhelmed by how cute that was as Michael pushed his face into Luke’s arm

“Let’s go upstairs”

“Can’t we just sleep here?” Luke loved how vulnerable Michael was when he first woke up and it felt like for once he was taking care of him and Luke realized he couldn’t argue with how adorable Michael was being.

“Okay but let’s at least lie down” Michael nodded but he also didn’t move at all and Luke chuckled so he decided to lean back and lie on his back then Michael smiled for the first time all night and laid on top of Luke intertwining their legs. Luke instantly put one of his hands in Michael’s hair softly rubbing his hands through it and the other hand lightly gripping Michael’s arm then Michael sat up a bit holding himself up by his elbows and stared down at him.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?” Luke just had to ask. It had been bothering him so much and he carefully wiped some of Michael’s hair off his forehead as he looked like he was falling apart again.

“I shouldn’t of left you” He mumbled and Luke felt just as bad as Michael did

“Michael its okay I mean you’re here now and that’s all I care about” but Michael kept shaking his head

“You didn’t deserve that Luke and the fact that you’ve forgiven me proves that you’re such a better person than me”. Luke couldn’t stand how much this was beating Michael up and he kissed his forehead then held his face in his hands rubbing his thumbs across Michael’s cheeks.

“I get why you left. I do and I don’t blame you for leaving. I would have run away from all this too if I could of” Luke felt like he was having some sort of heart attack when Michael leaned down and kissed his nose. He’d never done that before and every time Michael would do something new Luke fell even more in love with him. He moved his lips down to Luke’s and left a few quick pecks and Luke doesn’t think Michael has ever been this gentle with him. He then kissed Luke’s cheek letting his lips just stay there for a few seconds then rubbed his nose against that same spot and Luke now knew that if he watched Michael much longer he wouldn’t be able to keep the words “I love you” from spilling out so he clenched his eyes shut and tried to slow down his heartbeat but it became impossible when Michael started to rub his hand through the back of Luke’s hair in a massaging motion as he gripped Luke’s neck with the other one and kissed his jaw. Luke couldn’t help out but let out a soft moan and he couldn’t take it anymore and he realized he needed a lot more than this.

“Michael” he said in a whiney voice

“hmm?” Michael said, his lips now brushing Luke’s chest

“I n-need you. Fuck. Please Michael” Michael lifted his head and let his eyes meet Luke’s

“What do you need baby?” Luke let out anther moan at Michael calling him “baby” and Michael started grinding his hips forward against Luke

“w-want you to fuck me. Fuck I need you so bad” Michael’s mouth dropped opened a bit and his eyes were moving all over Luke’s face

“Are you..are you sure?”

“I’ve never been so sure of something” Michael let a big smile over take his face and Luke ran his fingers over his cheek  
When they got upstairs the atmosphere was drastically different and Luke knew this was really happening. Luke quickly took off his shirt then Michael slowly walked over to him and started dragging his fingers up and down Luke’s chest, watching his fingers as he did so and Luke didn’t take his eyes off Michael’s face. Michael then began to unbutton and unzip Luke’s jeans and let them drop to the floor. Luke swallowed hard and Michael gave him this look where Luke just knew he could trust him with this. Michael grabbed Luke’s hand and led him over to the bed then got rid of his own clothes so that he was only in his boxers. He grabbed a small tube out of his top drawer then hovered above Luke kissing a line down his stomach and Luke’s legs began to shake as Michael started rub Luke’s dick through his boxers. He then started removing his boxers and Luke took a deep breath as Michael ran his tongue over Luke’s hole. It was a very new feeling but he could not get enough of it and when Michael stuck his tongue actually inside Luke started shaking uncontrollably at how good it felt

“Fuck that feels amazing” Luke said through gritted teeth so Michael continued doing that a few more times then started to lube his fingers up.

“You ready?” Michael asked softly and Luke eagerly nodded missing the heat down there. As Michael stuck it in Luke realized that this wasn’t so bad. It was a tad uncomfortable but he could deal then it started to feel good as Michael started pushing his finger in a faster motion and Luke didn’t even notice when he put in a 2nd finger but Luke needed more

“okay..you c-can do it now” Michael peppered soft kisses to Luke’s thigh then sat up and rubbed the lube over his dick and lined it up with Luke’s hole then paused and Luke’s eyes opened

“I don’t want to hurt you so I’m gonna go really slow at first okay?” Luke put one hand on each of Michael’s thighs and started rubbing them up and down

“I trust you. It’s okay” Michael closed his eyes for a second at those words, he slowly nodded then began to push into Luke little by little and Luke wasn’t in as much pain as he thought he would be until Michael pushed in even more and Luke let out a small whimper. Michael instantly stopped and then leaned down to kiss Luke’s lips

“I’m sorry it hurts baby” and with that Luke kissed Michael harder than he ever has before and they got lost in the kiss for several minutes before they both stopped at the same time and smiled at each other. Michael stayed close to Luke’s face and rested himself on his elbows as he pushed into Luke until he bottomed out and Luke just felt so overwhelmed.

“You need a minute?” Michael asked rubbing his nose against Luke’s cheek like he had earlier and Luke nodded. Then he started to get more comfortable down there and he knew it was killing Michael not being able to move.

“Okay. I’m ready” and with that Michael started to slowly thrust in and out of Luke until he was a complete mess of moans underneath him and Luke didn’t think it could get any more amazing than this but then Michael started to speed up and Luke had to bite his lip. He could feel the sweat on Michael’s back as he was letting out low pitched moans and sometimes the moan would get caught in his throat and Luke swore it was the hottest thing he had ever heard. Just hearing all these noises Michael was making above him was bringing him so much closer to his orgasm then Michael hit a certain spot and Luke let out an embarrassingly loud moan and continued to as Michael hit that spot over and over

“You feel so fucking good Luke”

“Oh my god..fuck” Luke spoke into Michael’s neck as he held onto his biceps “I’m close. So fucking close” and Michael picked his head up from Luke’s shoulder and began kissing his lips and moaning into his mouth louder than ever and with that Luke came all over his stomach with Michael doing it after him. Michael laid on top of Luke, both of their chests quickly going up and down.

“Holy shit” Michael said still out of breath “We could have been doing that for years” Luke chuckled and kissed the side of his face

“Guess we’ll just have to make up for lost time then right?” Michael sat up to look down at Luke, a cheeky grin already on his face

“How are you even real?” and Luke began shaking his head trying not to smile “I’m serious. You’re the best fucking thing that has ever happened to me Luke” and the smile was off his face now and Luke needed to hear him say it. He needed to hear “I love you” leave his lips but Michael kissed Luke again then was getting off the bed

“What’re you doing?” Luke said with a yawn

“I’ll be right back” he said leaving the room. When Michael came back he took a few drinks out of the glass of water then handed to it Luke and tucked his head under Luke’s chin. Michael held him tight and ran his fingers up and down Luke’s spine then he stopped and faced Luke as he reached his hand up to cup Luke’s cheek and Luke leaned into his hand taking it upon himself to move his face against it

“I love you so much Luke” his voice cracking when he said his name. Luke froze and let out a quick breath “I always have” and nothing in the world could have stopped Luke from leaning forward, wrapping his arms around Michael’s torso and holding him tighter than ever before and Michael held him back just as tight

“I love you too Michael. More than anything” Michael put his hand at the back of Luke’s head and kissed his forehead

“I promise I won’t ever leave you again” and with those words Luke let out a whimper without meaning to “I’m here baby. It’s okay” Michael said and he kept whispering “I love you’s” as he kissed Luke’s forehead until they were both asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is so short and I'm sorry. Maybe I'll write an epilogue if you guys want me to. Hope you like it! and I love everyone who has stuck with this story <3

“Please just tell me where we’re going. I’m tired of tripping over things because you don’t know how to guide me”

“I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful” Michael said laughing with his hands over Luke’s eyes as he walked behind him and guided him through the sand the best he could. The sun was just starting to go down and Michael couldn’t believe how beautiful it looked and he kissed Luke on the cheek before deciding he could let him see where they were. “Alright I’ll let you see now” He removed his hands from Luke’s eyes and Luke instantly knew where they were. The deserted snack shack, the big hill and the way the palm trees were in a straight line where the sand began; it could only be one place and Luke’s eyes widened.

“This is...This is where you first taught me to surf” Luke mumbled out still amazed that it looked exactly the same and he hadn’t been here in years. Michael couldn’t stop staring at the smile on his face then he urged Luke to sit down with him. Luke leaned into him when Michael put his arm around him and kissed his temple

“Yeah I remember you said you wanted me to teach you somewhere private so you didn’t embarrass yourself in front of a bunch of people” Michael laughed under his breath

“I think that was just an excuse I used to be alone with you”

“Oh you think huh?” Michael teased

“Well” Luke drifted off trying to remember how he thought of Michael back then “I just can’t really remember how I felt about you back then”. Michael let out a little sad sigh and laid down on his back. He knew it was a long time ago but he still remembered how he had felt about Luke the first time he seen him and he was a bit discouraged that Luke didn’t remember. Luke turned his body a bit and gave him a puzzled look.

“I’ve always liked you Luke. From day one I had feelings for you”. Luke opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. He tried his hardest to remember how his feelings about Michael were back then but he just couldn’t and it was worrying him a little.

“You mean...You’ve always liked me? Like through everything?” Michael nodded while his one arm was behind his head and Luke didn’t understand why he looked so sad “Why didn’t you tell me?” He almost whispered

“I don’t know Luke I just...I’m pissed at myself that I didn’t do something about it earlier” Michael took a deep breath like he didn’t want to say what he was about to say “And I’m not saying that I’m glad I left but in a way I am because being away from you like that made my feelings for you get really intense and when I left Phoenix I planned on doing something about them but...” Michael looked out to the ocean for a second then back at Luke.

“But I beat you to it” Luke slowly said

“But you beat me to it” Michael spoke with a chuckle “But I’m happy it happened the way it did. I actually planned out what I was going to say to you but you said it a lot better than I could of”

“What we’re you going to say to me?” Luke began to think about how it could have played out if Michael would have said something before he did”. Michael reached out and grabbed Luke’s hand, pulling it gently

“Come lay with me” Michael’s soft words had Luke quickly getting closer to him and laying his head on his chest and Michael had one hand on Luke’s waist while the other hand combed through his hair. Luke had forgotten what he had even asked Michael. “ I didn’t really plan on saying anything because I’m not very good with words so I was just going to kiss you and see what happened” Luke let out a tired laugh and moved up to bury his face in Michaels neck.

“I think you’ve watched too many romance movies” but then he got serious as he sat up and looked down at Michael before giving him kiss and letting his lips linger there “It would of worked though”

“Yeah?” Michael asked nervously. Luke gave him a confident nod then began to feel bad again

“I’m sorry I can’t remember how I felt about you when we met” and Michael started to shake his head

“Luke it’s okay...it really is. You’ve had a lot of shit go on since then and you know there are probably certain things that you do remember that I don’t”

“I remember not wanting you to let me go when you hugged me down at The Cut” Luke said not making eye contact with him as he rubbed his thumb across Michael’s hair line. Luke felt a tear run down his face and he didn’t know if it was because he was missing Ashton or if he was just remembering how much he missed Michael while he was gone. Michael brought a hand up to wipe it away and held him tighter “And I remember feeling the same way when you hugged me at the funeral”. Michael squeezed his eyes shut as he felt his own tears began to come on.

“Luke” He stuttered out before bringing Luke down to rest on his chest again “I didn’t want to let go either. Remember Calum pulled me away?” Michael laughed and hoped that Luke would to

“Yeah..What an asshole” Luke’s smile faded a bit and he wanted to go back to the topic of Ashton “What do you think Ash would think of you know..us?” . Michael hummed and kissed the top of Luke’s head

“I mean if Calum doesn’t care then neither would Ashton. He loved you so much Luke. He just wants you to be happy” Luke picked his head up and leaned it against Michael’s forehead, giving him a kiss every now and then

“I wish he could see how happy I am with you”. Michael put both his hands on Luke’s face and gave his nose a kiss

“I think he can” Michael’s attention was brought to the sky as a shooting star flew across it and Luke looked up to see it too “I know he can”


End file.
